What else happened this year? From memory - is this when Kim and Trump met in Singapore? - in reality, it's when Kim's brother was poisoned by a Vietnamese woman wearing a WTF t-shirt, other than that, seems a lot of reaction to Trump and to the Brexit vote.
What is the plot - in one sentence? At the end of the Vietnam War, a ragtag group of soldiers and scientists explore the mysterious Skull Island.
I don't have time for your nonsense, just spoil it for me? King Kong is there. After much - Much - to-ing and fro-ing, a few survivors make it off the island and they are told that Godzilla is around, too.
What is the meaning of the title? Kong lives on an island that looks like a skull.
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| So apparently in the years I've been gone they've changed how to comment under photos? Well, this is a screenshot from the movie, taken from one of the months-long fights between two creatures I care not for. |
Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? This is so recent that nothing's really not aged well, but it's telling that the CGI is dreadful even at 4 years distance. There's also a Chinese assistant to the scientists who carries a gun around for no reason and speaks all of her lines phonetically, a nod to the fact that this is aimed at the Chinese market. Also, Legendary, the company behind this, is Chinese owned, there you go.
Any thoughts? This was recommended to me by a friend. I will have to really re-consider that friendship, because this movie was terrible. The scenes of soldiers providing 'comic relief' were never anything less than painful, and dragged an already slow movie down even more; the action was entirely weightless due to overuse of CGI: there's a scene where one guy gets ripped to bloodless shreds by pterodactyls, and it looks like something from Turkish television.
Aside from that, the action scenes were far, FAR too long. The initial attack of Kong vs helicopters and the final fight involving Kong wielding chains were at least 10 minutes too long each. The main enemy of Kong was utterly underwhelming too, it's a sort of lizard-in-a-witches-hat thing.
I said 'Oh for crying out loud' at least 6 times during this - and none of them happened in a place that they were intended. For the record:
When Samuel L Jackson opens a beer, straight to camera;
when a guy says 'I'm not getting on that helicopter' and then is seen on the helicopter;
when I realised that a soldier writing to his son was going to be a recurring motif from all of the soldiers;
when Kong reaches for a gigantic octopus in a river, but you're meant to think he's reaching for a soldier;
When John C. Reilly speaks in Japanese;
when the makeshift boat they are on has an LP player on it, which means that some soldier had to lug it, and a power-source, through the dangerous jungle.
Would you recommend this? No, this is a real waste of $200million, with very little to recommend it. John C. Reilly is pretty funny in his bit, but jeez everything else... I'll single out the soundtrack - which is obviously by someone who doesn't like 70s music so they googled some hits, and the main woman, Brie Larson - who a year before was winning awards for Room, but here is just a grinning, photo-taking idiot - you can see why Kong isn't that bothered about her.
The original King Kong was better, it had the good grace to be kind of charming, and over in about an hour and a bit.
Final thoughts? Tom Hiddleston plays a mercenary, and in a role that I've never seen before, as he plays the male equivalent of eye candy in a movie from the 1930s. A genuine 'himbo.' He flexes, holds his body in unusual positions, and adds nothing to the story. I mean he's a good-looking guy, but jeez he looks like he could do with a meal; he's also meant to be a real tough guy, but his voice sounds like he'd be talking to you about parking permits in some miserable English town.
This is the first movie I've watched for this, and I'm sure it'll be long forgotten by the time I reach the inevitable conclusion.
You can find a list of all of them as they arrive, right here.
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