1963: Pink Panther, The (52nd)

 What else happened this year? Vietnam was just about to kick off, Beatlemania? Nothing I can say for sure, and nothing I care to discover now.... so I don't know.

What is the plot - in one sentence? A detective named Clouseau is sent to a French chalet to stop the theft of a famous jewel, belonging to a princess.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? Two men are trying to steal the diamond, each is unaware of their plan despite being uncle and nephew. The uncle is having an affair with Clouseau's wife, and the nephew also tries it on with her. They also take turns trying to seduce the princess. Turns out that she's stolen the diamond, as she wants to keep it instead of give it to the people of her country. However, charmed by the uncle, and in an effort to keep him out of prison, she frames the bumbling detective for it. Clouseau goes to prison, where the thought of getting conjugal visits from hefty Italian women is enough to make him agree that he did it. The two criminals agree to team up and head to South America for another heist, with Clouseau's wife. I'm sure that will end well for everyone.

What is the meaning of the title? The Pink panther is the name of a jewel that David Nivven tries to steal for the whole movie. The jewel has an imperfection which looks like a pink panther in it. At the beginning and end, there's a literal pink panther cartoon, which was disappointing when the whole thing then descended into 1960s farce.

Here we are, from right to left, an irresistible alcoholic in a sweater, his even-older-looking nephew, a woman in a sky blue jumpsuit, and the back of a woman dressed like a gimp / Cruella De Ville. This all takes place in a grimly coloured fireplace chalet. Oh to be young in that era.
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Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? Despite there being no Kato in this movie, this has not aged well. Though there's no violence to women, there is a VERY creepy seduction scene by David Nivven of Claudia Cardinale. She talks like a baby girl about virginity while he lingers around and plies her with alcohol. 

He's 30 years older than her in real life, but looks much more. Their 'chemistry' extends to him saying 'a real woman would have slapped my face' for saying some alcoholic bon mot to her. It's incredibly unpleasant. 

The rest of the movie is just a bit weird, but the thing which has aged the very worst (except the fashion, more on which later) is Inspector Clouseau himself. Every time he touches something: it breaks. Every time he walks somewhere: he trips on something, or something breaks. It's exasperating. I mean exasperating.

Is he a precursor to Mr. Bean? No he isn't.

Any thoughts? The bulk of this movie is set in a ski chalet. In fact, I don't remember why everyone is there: the criminals, the police (Clouseau and a few scientists are there), and the princess, all just happen to be there. That's fine. It's also the 1960s, so everyone is drunk all the time.

The fashion, particularly the skiing fashion, is also terrible as you'd expect (and kind of hope). Put it this way, Claudia Cardinale looks terrible in a lot of her outfits.

Claudia (playing a princess) and Clouseau's wife, who is playing a long term con on her inspector husband - can't seem to get enough of David Nivven, who at this remove looks like an old, alcoholic lech. While this is good for me and my future prospects, it's not good for the movie. His nephew, who is a budding conman himself, has been posing as a dorky student, and arrives to provide a bit of sex appeal for the viewers, and sexual harassment for the female characters. Clouseau's wife spends the majority of the movie fending off attacks from the three male characters, like that cat on Pepe Le Pew.

Would you recommend this? Remember that episode of Frasier where they're all in a ski chalet and horny, but because of mixed messages, no one ends up getting laid? That's this movie, but for two hours! Two hours is too long for a comedy. I wouldn't recommend this.

The whole thing is annoying, has aged very badly. There's a bedroom scene where three men are hiding from each other, and it goes on for about 15 minutes. It's exasperating after 1 couple. There's a costume party at the end which has the 'hilarious' scene where the uncle and the nephew are in gorilla costumes, and it's just not funny at all. The 'chase' scene in cars which leads to a huge number of crashes was pretty slow too. For a romantic Crime comedy to have a creepy romance, terribly aged comedy, and the crime as an afterthought, that's not a big rec from me.

Final thoughts? Claudia Cardinale is (she's still alive) beautiful. It's weird to see her fall in love with David Nivven. She could do better, and in fact she does: later she plays a character who is married to Klaus Kinski in Fitzcarraldo. Lucky old gal.

52 down, who knows how many to go... see the rest here.