1984: Police Academy (70th!)

What else happened this year? Your favourite writer escaped the pillowy womb of his mother in a Sydney hospital.

What is the plot - in one sentence? Following a relaxing of standards to entering the police force, we follow an ensemble of police recruits as they try to graduate.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? A couple get kicked out (for reacting to being racially abused), but they get reinstated afterwards for some brave acts during a convenient riot that they conveniently have to attend to.

What is the meaning of the title? It's set in, and about, a Police Academy.

That's Kim Catrall on the right. She looks a lot like Marion Cotillard in this photo. I am not complaining.

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? Surprisingly, no. A 'clumsy' trainee accidentally knocks his wife with a suitcase. We also see women kicking the shit out of men in training, the guy who does it is also lucky enough to get some boobs in his face for his trouble, so it's not all bad. 

Probably the thing which has aged worst of all is the gay panic stuff - two narc police recruits end up at a gay bar a couple of times, and despite reading as gay themselves, end up uncomfortable and in a situation where they are ballroom-danced with by gay stereotypes. This is such a go-to, that it is revisited at least as late as Police Academy 4, which I had the pleasure of watching on Finnish Television as I wait for a flight (I’m going back to work overseas!) - Also, what does it say about Finnish Television that that was on in 2021 on a Saturday evening?

This is very of it's time though, in that it's a 'subversive' movie which would probably have ended up getting people to enrol in the police academy: See also, that Bill Murray Army movie.

Any thoughts? It’s a large ensemble cast, and a lot of them are defined very broadly. One has a very nervous speaking voice, one is a fat guy, another a luckless shlub, another pretends to be Italian to maintain a harem of women. Hilarious, I’m sure you’ll agree. 

As for the larger parts, there’s a giant, played by a former NFL guy; a guy who does sound effects (probably the most famous, and most annoying of the characters from this movie), and then there’s Steve Guttenberg (who made him a star? not me!) and a young, slinky, Kim Catrall as his love interest. He’s mainly a pretty annoying guy.

It tends to be episodic. There’s some hi-jinx, then a musical interstitial, and then more hi-jinx. It’s a very similar formula to a lot of other TV shows and movies, and I can’t tell if this is a forerunner or a copycat. I don’t really care either way.

Would you recommend this? No, no I wouldn’t. Perhaps if I’d seen this as a kid..., actually I probably wouldn’t have found it very good then either. For a comedy it’s not very funny. I rolled my eyes when that guy got his head stuck in a horses ass, and an old, demented police chief getting blown while giving a speech was just grim. I thought I’d never think of this whole series ever again before number 4 rocked up on TV by chance. That was even less funny, so, it’s not like it gets better over time.

Final thoughts? This is talked about a lot, especially on the Simpsons. And so I was surprised that it’s such a boring and pretty unfunny comedy. It hasn’t aged well, there are only a few funny bits, and the romance is tacked on for no reasons. I don't really care what happens to any of these dickheads, which makes watching any of the dozens of sequels a big no from me too; let’s hope for better things in the next movie we do here.

Remember, I love you (yes, you!) most of all.If you love me too, you can see the rest of these things here .

On a logistical note, I'm using a linux computer, so I'll do a few of these at a time so I don't have to log in to a google account too often. Thanks everyone!