In Praise of #9: Pom Poko

Spoilers kind of follow. See it first, then come back and read this. The list of the rest of the 'in Praise of Series' can be found here.

I made a fuss about not writing for a while, but someone spurred me into action. I was having an argument with a friend, and it turned personal and then bitter. We only made up in the last few days. As with most of my arguments, it was ridiculous The following review is basically the gist of my arguments which I used against her. The result is today's 'In Praise of,' which is Isao Takahata's 'Pom Poko,' an animated movie. My friend said that it was weird, and not very good, while I disagreed with a childish vehemence. Pom Poko follows the trials and exploits from the point of view of personified, cartoon Tanuki, a native Japanese raccoon-dog which enjoys a rich mythology in Japan. Takahata is one of the major figures of Studio Ghibli, reviews of movies by  Hayao Mayazaki can be found in these Two Links. Takahata himself is probably most famous for ' The Grave of the Fireflies' a harrowing tale following two starving children during the firebombing of Kobe at the end of WWII. Despite being animated, it has been singled out as one of the most powerful anti-war movies of all time, and is certainly one of the most harrowing animated movies I've seen. However, as good a movie as that is, Pom Poko is better. It's certainly more fun.

Real-life Tanuki. They're pretty cute, but I bet they're too crazy to keep as pets. [source]

As ever, a brief plot summary is difficult. We follow a group of Tanuki (Japanese Raccoon dogs), which are famous in Japanese mythology as mischievous, sentient tricksters who have the ability to shape-shift. They notice that the land where they live is being encroached upon by builders, and the various clans of Tanuki join together to try to prevent further human intervention, we follow their highs and lows over the next few years. We are told that they live in the area which became the Tama New town, on the outskirts of Tokyo, and which we know was built in the 1970s and 80s. As we are aware from the outset that their struggle will be in vain, it is a reflection of the characters and personalities of the Tanuki, and also their views on their opposition, humanity, with all its flaws.Once again, this synopsis not only misses the point of the movie, but also makes it seem utterly charmless: it isn't.

Tsurugame, the village elder, gives lessons on life to the youngsters.

As the Tanuki (or raccoons as the subtitles and dub both persist with) are dealing with an encroachment of their home by industrialisation and humans, one of the main themes of the movie is that of environmental concerns. However, this theme is not on quite such an epic scale as Miyazaki's 'Princess Mononoke' - the threat is more intimate: we see the Tanuki suffering, hungry, and struggling with the encroachment on their living space. It is not merely a movie about environmental concerns, as it offers a rich and complex fable which is at once fantastic and realistic (as far as it can be realistic to have talking raccoons). The Tanuki are  generally fun-loving, but are also flawed and far from benevolent; in the end the story isn't about a struggle between species, as a reflection that both are as flawed as each other, despite the Tanuki's indomitable spirit and character.

Tanuki in their 'excited' state, simply drawn and happy, and with prominent balls.

 However, this movie has been maligned by many in the west (including myself, I put it off for far too long). Why, you may ask? because of the movie's use of Tanuki scrotum. Japanese mythology has the Tanuki being able both shape-shift, and also to instantly increase the size of its scrotum. For example, one scene shows the aggressive Tanuki covering the windshield of a truck with his enlarged scrotum, causing it to crash. At the movie's climax, a group of militant Tanuki wage a kamikaze battle against the human police force, floating, kite-like with their scrotums before using their man-pouches as weapons in an ultimately futile and surprisingly touching scene. As it is an established part of the Tanuki mythology, and is used naturally for humour yet isn't overdone. It makes such an insignificant and vital part of the story that only the most narrow-minded people would worry that it ruins the entire movie.

This is a real life Tanuki Statue, note the bottle of booze in its hand, and its huge nuts. This image taken from Wikipedia: where you can't find any information you need, but big-testicled-raccoon-images are a dime a dozen. [source]

What it does help to show however, is that this kind of movie could NEVER be made in the West. It's animated, but deals with situations which adults would sympathise with, although it seems that Japanese children wouldn't be so timid as to be shocked by testicles as some American reviewers seem to be (the American dub merely refers to them as 'raccoon pouches,' and still every review you read makes ample mention of them. Aside from shape-shifting, hugely endowed raccoons, the movie is particularly Japanese- drawing heavily from Japanese mythology, history, and folklore, and I think that that should be applauded.

This is a popular image which inspires Gondo to use his nuts as weapons in the movie. This is taken from traditional Japanese art, where they would silhouette things (in this case a goldfish), and then on the next page subvert your guesses by drawing, for example, a Tanuki squashing a man with his balls. Insane, and awesome. [source]

The excellent animation work allows for scenes which would be impossible to pull off convincingly in a live-action movie, and at the same time makes it much more heart-warming and charming. Everyone I've talked to who likes this movie has used the word charming to describe it. It is, perhaps a little overlong, but it genuinely is charming enough to make you go along with it. The raccoons are animated in a number of ways, the first, as real-life raccoons, for when humans are around; secondly, in their preferred style, as rounded, cartoonish creatures, often with vests or other pieces of clothing; or finally, whenever their instincts take over, they appear as skinny, comically drawn beasts (influenced, I'm told, by a popular newspaper cartoon). Some of the Tanukis, and the majority of the ones we follow, can also use shape-shifting powers, and can become anything from inanimate objects and other animals to convincing humans. It's this shape-shifting which allows them to go into the city to gather food, information, and to plan tricks and attacks.

Shoukichi is among the first to learn how to shape-shift successfully.

What makes the movie though, is the juxtaposition of individual characters with that of the Tanuki community as a whole. Similarly, many scenes are at once funny and melancholy. It is at once the saddest and funniest movie you'll see. At some points, the jokes come so fast it's a struggle to keep up with them (particularly on subtitles), as well as this, there are copious sight jokes at many stages. However, the movie at times highlights sadness and melancholy; characters are killed, seriously injured, and suffer with hunger and depression as their homes and futures grow evermore into doubt. However, this seemingly bi-polar switch of moods doesn't seem unnatural or forced, rather it seems to reflect the lives of the Tanuki themselves, we really get a sense that we are following them through ups and downs.

'Realistically' drawn Tanuki gaze onto a construction site.

While we are aware that the Tanuki's struggle will be futile, their sheer spirit helps them to maintains a playful optimism and 'heart' even following setbacks. The juxtaposition of moods allows for some great scenes - the tensions of guerrilla attacks on construction trucks and workers is elevated by the tremendous party they have to celebrate (Tanuki's love to drink, as can be seen in the picture above). The tanuki start partying again because they can't help themselves from giggling when they are marking respectful silence for the humans who they have killed. The most emotionally impacting scenes show tanuki being killed by cars or trapped by humans, followed closely by romance and cubs, which not only suggests the changing of seasons and passing of time, but is a genuinely lovely, touching scene in its own right. We really get a sense that time is moving on, and it's both melancholy and wonderful.

Other great scenes include the shock on the faces of the male Tanuki when they realise that the carpet they are sitting on is actually the village patriarch's scrotum; this same patriarch in human-form cuddling a scared Tanuki who is struggling with shape-shifting while in town; the arrival of a Tanuki from a different area, who is equally worried about his loss of habitat, and the medley of learning how to shape-shift, then live as humans, and then, when the three masters of shape-shifting finally make their appearance, to use their skills to create enormous illusions, such as the 'no-face' attack, and culminating in the scene of the 'goblin parade,' which is excellent and will be referred to later. 

A nice scene, but no one seems to bat an eyelid at tired looking people hugging a raccoon dog.

What makes the movie come alive though, are the characters. The village elder, Tsurugame, is a sweet and benevolent leader, while his wife, Oroku, is more aggressive and intelligent. There is the aggressive Tanuki warrior chieftain in the red vest, named Gonta, who is crippled in a stampede caused when the Tanuki try to celebrate his victories against the humans.  He remains injured for an entire year, his frustration and isolation palpable, before his final, futile kamikaze attack, the desperate act of a species which doesn't like to be desperate. A couple of Tanuki leave Tama hills to try to locate master shape-shifters in other areas, they return years later, with three wonderful old characters, but their initial departure is a sad affair, as they walk into the distance and the rest of the community sing to them. It's an image which both acknowledges other Japanese movies and draws on it. Best of all, it leads to the introduction of these guys: 

The three shape-shift masters, in human form. They dress like an old neighbour of mine who had dementia.

As well as these characters, the moral heart of the movie is the resourceful Tanuki named Shoukichi, a young adult who wears light blue. His plans help to prevent further setbacks to the Tanuki, but he is reasonable enough to understand that their situation is beyond redemption, the conclusion of the movie shows him to be living a reluctant life as a human. However, before this, he and his girlfriend, and eventually 'wife' (I don't think Tanuki really get married), called Okiyo, embark on a surprisingly tender romance, in a series of scenes which convey a couple falling in love, time passing, and a new generation of cubs coming along, who are described by the anonymous narrator as 'charming.' They are, and the scenes of their love are in no way gratuitous or overdone, but perfectly pitched.

Super-cute, a lovely scene. N.B. I'm not one to use 'lovely' or 'cute' without reason.

  Both the music and the animation are excellent, even for  a Ghibli movie. The music follows traditional Japanese songs about the Tanuki with some updated lyrics to fit the story better, as well as newly composed, upbeat tunes. The animation is also worthy of note: the Tanuki in their 'realistic' form are terrific, and as chubby, vest-wearing characters are full of colour and spirit. The background animation is also second to none: a scene of kingfishers flying next to each other and landing on a tree signifies Spring perfectly, and captures the majesty and perfection of even real life could bring. Furthermore, progressive animation techniques, such as telling a part of the Tanuki's story through a mock retro gaming console, or the use of and a giant leaf being eaten by bug-sized diggers, help to add flesh to the story and keep invention in the animation.

NES style animation which helps spur the plot along.

After the arrival of the 3 old guys, the skills involved in illusions and shape-shiftings are increased, but their ultimate effect remains limited. Combining all the Tanuki's power, they undergo a huge illusion, creating a parade of goblins through Tokyo, watched by a huge crowd of people. This ghost parade has been criticised as going on too long (it is on for at least 8 minutes) but that is besides the point, it introduces us to dozens of Japanese mythological creatures, and is at once interesting and wonderful. It is a last, brilliant effort of the Tanuki to try to convince humans to halt their construction. Thinking it successful, they celebrate, but are met with tricksters themselves: the owner of a funfair and a shape-shifting fox (because that's also well-established as Japanese mythology) who take the credit for it. These scenes are also important for showing the loss of belief in traditional religion of the Japanese people - it is not only the Tanuki who are losing their culture and history. 

One of the million screenshots I could have got to illustrate the frenzy of the goblin parade.

Devastated by the lack of progress being made, and realising the inevitability of their fate, some tanuki go to fight to the death, and the rest, in a last moving act of defiance, stage one last grand illusion, temporarily transforming the urbanised land back into its pristine state to remind everyone (including themselves) of exactly what has been lost. The illusion is only lost when the excited Tanuki run to see their lost ancestors, leaving them in the middle of a modern, built-up area. This movie offsets highs with lows, and optimism is continually met with realism. The film ends on a bittersweet note, with some of the Tanukis partying heartily in what used to be their home, but is now a golf-course. offset with the realisation that life is stopping for them, tinged with frustration and depression, but not to be met with their indomitable spirit

Auto-hangliding Tanuki soaring into battle. A scene which is far more affecting than it should be (genuinely).

In conclusion, I wasn't expecting much when I first saw this, but I was blown away by how good it is.I can't wait to watch it again. It is charming, beautifully drawn, lovely, funny, scary, and suggests the passage of time and morality more than any ostensibly 'childrens movie' should. If any other movie mirrors the highs and lows of life more this, I would be surprised. While I admit that this review may have over-analised the movie, the overriding feeling is that it is funny, sad, and charming. It might be the best Ghibli movie, and is certainly a better movie than 'Grave of the fireflies' by the same director. While this isn't the first Japanese movie you should ever watch, if you're familiar with the quirks of Japanese culture and society, then get the fuck on it. You won't regret it. Also, if the presence of testicles is enough to persuade you away from a movie, don't watch this, but instead, please lighten up.

One of a dozen or so party scenes, this one from the very end of the movie.

Thanks, as always, for reading.

[A note on the dub: the American dub, which is available on the DVD I watched this on, is actually pretty fair, much better than most Ghibli English dubs ('Princess Mononoke' and 'Porco Rosso' are the best examples of a bad dub hindering a good movie). However, a large portion of the cast of the dub is familiar from Futurama - while it is nice to hear all the voices of Futurama as raccoons (particularly Morbo the news alien, as one of the old guys) it's still worth going for the subtitled version if you can, mainly because that doesn't shirk the testicles issue (it refers to them as 'raccoon pouches') instead. Still, it's worth a go, and you certainly can't say that about all Ghibli movies].

In Praise of #8: Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time 3DS

I was given a 3DS for Christmas, and bought this game a little while after. I had played the N64 version when I was but a giant, overgrown teen, and so I knew what to expect. It was a great game, at the time held as the greatest ever, and remains, rightly, a classic. The remake into 3D, has a few changes to the button configuration, the temples have been made a little easier, and there is now a hint system which you can jump into if you choose. It's pretty awesome, and that's why it's the focus of today's 'In Praise Of.' [Please note, there are spoilers, kind of, and finding screenshots was nearly impossible, so there will be a lot of creepy fan art in its place*]

Some rare, non-nude fan art [source]

The plot and the story are well known, essentially its about Link, who uses a magical ocarina to travel back and forth through time to bring peace to his land. It's an immense game, with so much packed into it: it gets progressively harder, but logic and patience can solve any of the problems. It never becomes irrational. It's epic in scale, but still rewards exploration.  It's almost perfectly judged in tone, difficulty and scale.

Ganon, the main 'bad egg' of the game. Also, a ginger. Coincidence? [source]

Aside from the main plot, which is still great (although easier than I remember it), there are myriad side-quests. Masks, Magic Beans, ghost-hunting, an excellent fishing game, gold skulltula collecting and more ensure that this game will eat away precious hours of your mortal coil. The action is great, and the fighting system, even on the 3DS, still works intuitively. It's a joy to play, and a joy to look at, the visuals have been upped in the 3D version, and some gameplay things have been improved, meaning you don't have to spend half your time in pause while you rearrange your inventory or try to remember a song. 

Link holds up a fish, he looks surprised. [source]

The music, aside from the songs you learn to warp to places, are excellent and evocative, powerful even through the DS speakers, and makes a great game even better. My personal favourites are the flamenco influenced song at the Gerudo Hideout, and the evocative, harp themed music in the Zora's domain. 

Link on Epona. Perhaps not a flattering angle for a horse? It looks a little 'slow' [source]

While there are numerous highs: getting Epona (your horse); learning songs; some of the excellent cut scenes; the epic 'battle with Dark Link' - which retains the fast, ethereal logic of a dream, and the feeling that as you progress, you are learning more skills and gaining more powers and weapons. There are also some downsides, your fairy 'Navi' is just as annoying as she ever was; getting to some locations, particularly as a child, is a repetitive pain (Zora's domain, and the mountain where the awesome Gorons live, for example, take an age to get to without a horse or a warp). Furthermore, the game could also do with having a few more people in villages to talk to (although there are still plenty) and the game would also benefit from having something to spend all of your money on - for example, some new costumes, or perhaps some bling for your horse. There is also the rather unsatisfying conclusion - after you have defeated the final boss, you can't return to the game, so must remain in an unfinished game if you wish to, for example, collect every heartpiece or item. However, that doesn't detract from what is a terrific game.

Link is slowly approached by his evil self (from a N64 screenshot) [source]

  The land of Hyrule itself is a little odd. The Royal Family are more fawned over than even the British Royal family, they have a huge castle and seem to employ most of the town as guards. They are deferred to by villagers and even the main bad guy (Ganondorf), despite the fact that it is the Princess Zelda who is responsible for all of the trouble in the first place (she tried to reunite pieces of a tri-force, with disastrous results). A republic would work better for them, I think. Also, in Lon Lon ranch, a horse and cattle producing fortress, most of the work is done by the evil worker, Ingo, and the owner's daughter, Malon. It is no surprise that when Link re-emerges as an adult, it is Ingo who is running the place: he may be evil, but at least he is competent. The original owner, Talon, is found sleeping on multiple occasions, offers his daughter, Malon's, hand in marriage after a failed bet with a small child. Although he is a nice guy, he shouldn't be in charge of anything. Let's just say that this game isn't a paean to the free market.

One of the temple bosses, this one is particularly easy, despite his silly name and huge size. [source]

Incidentally, The girl Malon, who I deeply regret doing an image search for, (though a legitimate image can be found here) when she is an adult, looks almost exactly like an old girlfriend of mine. Her thick brown-ginger hair, odd dress sense and obsession with animals is a little worring for me. I don't know how I didn't realise that at the time. In fact, almost all of the characters of the game are either particularly attractive (that handsome dude who sells potions, that woman who keeps losing her chickens, but can't handle them because she is allergic (time to change jobs I think)), or alternatively they are particularly ugly (the crone with a cat who sells super potions, Dampe the gravekeeper, or that weird, frog-obsessed guy who lives next to the lake). It makes an interesting mix. 

Dead Hands Attacking Link. Hideous. Add sounds and it is vomit-inducing. [source

 The villains and bad guys are almost universally brilliant: armed lizards, bats which can either freeze or burn you depending on location, and other enemies which require guile and skill to defeat. The boss levels are also universally impressive (although the boss of the water temple was disappointing after all these years - it's a red blob which can manipulate water)- the final battle of all is genuinely epic. However, there are also some scary moments, a creature called the Dead Hand (Navi gives a name and unhelpful information on all enemies if they are highlighted), which spawns up from the ground and bites you as its undead, respawning hands pin you down, is awful. Also scary are the re-deads, zombies which scream, groan and jump on you sucking away your life; most unsettling of all though are the giant hands which occasionally come and grab you away, in 3d the detail is increased from the N64 version, and they are horrifying.

What could link possibly be looking at that is more interesting than that!? [source]

  The villages, churches, and landscape are very European in style, and it's often easy to forget that this is a Japanese game first and foremost.While it is a Japanese game, it's one which evokes a mythical universe and is European in its aesthetic. There are however, some particularly 'Japanese' moments, not least the extended scene inside the belly of a giant fish, or the pack mentality of an attacked chicken. Also, some of the bad guys are beyond crazy (see Dead Hands above). Most bizarre of all though is the collection of creepy, giggling naked fairies who are there to dispense assistance and skills from their caves. Creepy, especially in 3D. However, I mean this in the nicest way, it's crazy, but it's also crazy fun.

And this is pretty cute, huh? [source]

In conclusion, highly recommended, particularly if you've not played the N64 version, or if you're the same dork you were when you played this at age 12.

*I was amazed by how much fan fiction zelda porn there was, even when google settings were 'safe' and when the search was for things which could in no way be. Let's just say I'll never be able to look at Dark Link the same way again. There are some twisted minds around. 

In Praise of # 7: Parks and Recreation

I've already mentioned this show before, when I bitched and whined that it wasn't on British TV. I maintain that bitching and whining, especially while '2 Broke Girls' is  currently being advertised to ubiquity. I had heard from a couple of mates, as well as those dorky message boards where nerds bicker and quote Star Wars, that both 'Parks and Rec' and 'Community' were worth checking out. Because it was on tv, I watched Community first, and while it's good, and I like it, I prefer Parks. This is mainly because when Community is bad, it's really bad; also the disgraced lawyer is too irritating to sympathise with, as is that British professor dude - I live in Britain, where nerdish, bitchy weiners are a as common as anything. Anyway, let's look at Parks and Recreation. for those not in the know, it's a show about the goings on of the Parks and Recreation department of the fictional Pawnee, Indiana. Spoilers follow:

Despite a poor beginning, where it was obvious that it was an Office clone, it has quickly evolved into a great show. While the first season hinged around the filling of a vacant lot near Ann's house, it soon came to be much more encompassing in its scope, with later seasons following: the organisation of a successful county festival; the make and break of relationships and friendships; and Leslie running for political office. Even in its first season, it developed a few of the characters, namely Andy, the lovable musician boyfriend of Ann, who will go on to become Leslie's best friend.

Ann and Leslie have an incredibly realistic drunken fight.

Also, even in this initial series the relationship between Leslie and her Libertarian, stoic boss Ron is already in place, and is developed further in the following seasons. The development of characters has allowed a natural organic sense of human relationships to take place, while less interesting characters have been jettisoned along the way. For example, we hear and see much less of Leslie's mother after the first season, and Joe, the Sewage guy has run his course as a secondary character and was fired. The boring, dependable character of Mark, a handsome but dull city planner, and initially a crush of Leslie's, was replaced by the more interesting City Managers Ben Wyatt and Chris Traeger, who is played by Rob Lowe.

Did anyone order a dreamboat? [source]

 As the series progressed other, initially background characters have been given time to shine. For example, Jerry has gone from being a background character, to a hopeless butt of all jokes and symbol of ineptitude. Chubby and bland, he is mocked constantly, and treated poorly by everyone, so much so that he pretends to be mugged to prevent his colleagues from laughing at him for falling over chasing a dropped burrito. However, in asides he reminds of that he is happy, looking forward to retirement, sharing his life with his 3 beautiful daughters, and his beloved wife. Seeing Jerry, eating a German muffin, with a cat on his lap, looking content in one episode, is both hilarious and touching. Other characters have similarly, gradually developed, Tom is now more than an irritant with visions of grandeur, but a well-meaning show-off.

Ben and Jerry (!) listening to an early morning harpsichord performance

Guests characters are also excellent, from Indiana NBA players Detlef Schrempf and Roy Hibbert as themselves, to Will Arnett, Megan Mullally, the wonderful Louis C.K., and Ben Schwarz as Jean-Ralphio. Jean-Ralphio owns every scene he is in, and though his character is a potential irritant, his role is kept to a minimum. It is excellent direction to keep us wanting more of a tosser like that. Almost universally, all the incidental characters and special guests work well. I particularly like the arrogant Joan Callamezzo and the bizarre Perd Hapley, who host TV shows in the city. Other guest characters are pitch perfect most of the time, even Paul Rudd, who has now been in every show ever made.

Tom trying to impress Detlef Schrempf

As well as that, the town of Pawnee is also worthy of note. In terms of history and populace, it is similar to Springfield. Run for a time by cultists, it is now the 4th most obese city in the US (it's motto now is 'first in friendship, fourth in obesity'), the owners of a confectionary factory are beloved almost as much as 'L'il Sebastian' a small horse which does nothing, but is held in almost god-like regard by the beefy populace.  The city has its share of unpleasant history, all of which are chronicled on the murals in City Hall itself. In town meetings and events we meet the citizens and all of these help to add to the sense of community in the show: favourites of mine include the stultifyingly boring accountant who tries to peddle his accountant software,but whom Andy founds hilarious for some reason. Also, in the many scenes of consulting citizens, favourites include a bearded man who tries to start bizarre chants of unrelated topics, and a mustachioed, angry man, furious about things which no one sane would get angry about. To top it all off, there have even been a few appearances by Loudon Wainwright III, who plays an overly-concerned citizen.

A genuine shirt available for purchase. The world is getting better. [source]

All this gives the sense of the city as a functioning entity, which merely adds weight to the central relationships in the show. As well as the genuine, benevolent relationship between Ron and Leslie, there is the touching, genuine relationship between Leslie and Anne, who grow to be best friends over the series. They share a sweet and genuine closeness. The ongoing troubles of Andy and April, which takes place over a couple of seasons and includes other relationships, at the end becomes a justified, legitimate relationship which makes sense. At all times, the characters are drawn realistically enough to make their behaviour seem real. This allows their odd detours, such as Leslie's obsession with waffles, Ron's woman problems (his two ex-wives are terrific - one a sex mad viper lady, the other reduces him to a 'neutered wimp'), Tom's friendship with Jean-Ralphio believable too.

Andy and April branch out and role-play

All of the main characters, are funny, human characters, rather than wacky, and it makes it much more believable. However, there are times when it flirts with going too far into 'wacky' territory. This can be seen
in Chris (Rob Lowe's character) a fitness mad , health-freak incapable of delivering bad news, and Ron can sometimes go a bit far, not least when his favourite restaurant was closed down. Despite this, he is, however, hilarious and a hero of mine. He provides a stoic and macho spine to the show, and at heart he is a good guy, willing to help out his friends.

Ron tucks into a turkey leg, with added bacon

Finally we move to Leslie herself. She was drawn a little too ditzy and 'wacky' in the first season - she gets hammered at a casual drinks-do in the first episode - but has developed into a kind, clever and super competent person who combines compassion, drive and charm. If this were a just world, she would be held as a feminist icon by the masses rather than Tulisa. On top of it all, she gets some killer lines, and her ramblings are often incredible. Importantly, I'd love to have her as a friend, and importantly, I've developed a weird crush on Amy Poehler, a miracle as she was a real beast in other things I've seen her in (for example, Job's wife in Arrested Development).

Finding a picture of Leslie is tough, because she is so frantic (and I'm so lazy).

However, all this would mean nothing if the show itself wasn't funny. It is. As well as numerous laugh out loud moments every episode, there are frequent occurrences of 'subtle' comedy- things you only catch on repeat viewings - which make this such good fun. We are only reminded that this is a 'mockumentary' on the rare instances when characters (other than April, who makes near constant contact) look to the camera. Though this was overdone in the first series, it is done much more subtly after that, and when it happens it allows us to share the characters laughter. For example, look to the other characters reactions when Tom is trying on costumes and brings out ornate walking canes; or when Jerry bends over, rips his pants open and farts nervously. Aside from this, the constant barrage of constant, clever jokes are the best seen since Arrested Development. Unlike Arrested Development, most of the characters are sympathetic, rather than insane (although don't get me wrong, A.D. is probably the best thing ever).

Most significantly for me, is that after the first series, there are very few dud episodes -other than an episode where a contingent of Venezuelans from Pawnee's sister city arrive, none spring readily to mind. However, that is outnumbered by great episodes. For example, any episode with Ron's ex-wives, but especially the drink-off scene between three women called Tammy, and Leslie; April and Andy's wedding; the possum; Jerry's saucy painting; and the episode which introduced 'Snake Juice' a 70% liquor tom created in his kitchen, and which makes Anne and Leslie fight over boys. All of these are genuinely wonderful television.

Jerry's depiction of Tom

In conclusion, despite a rough start, this show has married character growth, plot, and remains incredibly funny and yet touching, all without delving into schmaltzy sentiment like so many American shows. Terrific Television, and should be a lot more popular than it is. I didn't even mention Donna, or how mean the show is to kids. Go check it out, though give the first series a bit of leeway (in fact, you could just start at the beginning of series 2).

Take care, Pascal.

In Praise of # 6: My Friend Rick

 A welcome return to the 'In Praise Of Series' today, with a heartfelt ode to an old friend of mine, whom we will call 'Rick.' Tall and handsome, with a personable manner, he is popular and much loved, particularly by women. However, here are some awesome things he has done:

1. Forgot a 4 digit pin code for his locker in the gym (after 2 months of going there) so that he had to wait, in his speedos, for two hours for a locksmith to come and tell him that he was standing in front of the wrong locker.

2. Confused 'Belfast' with 'Belgium,' so that he travelled to Northern Ireland and was annoyed that the Bruges cathedral wasn't outside his window (the confused phone call where I had to explain that Belfast wasn't Belgium might have been the highlight of my life)

3. Confused the movie 'Memoirs of a Geisha' with 'Memoirs of a Geezer,' which he thought was a crime musical.

4. Thought that 'Hotel Rwanda' was a cartoon and took a girl on a date there... On a similar vein...

5. ...Taking someone to the movie 'City of Life and Death' on a third date (a graphic and dispiriting movie about the rape of Nanking).

6. Believed, and told people, that Pot Noodle was named in honour of Pol Pot.

7. Thought that this scene from Oldboy...

was from a documentary...

8. Got confused about which end to score on and scored 4 points for the other team in one basketball match.

I'd like to clarify that he was at least 20 when any of these things happened. The fact that someone like that has a successful job in Australia says a lot about the education system there. Anyway, I love being in his company and he's a great bloke, even if he is mad as a cut snake.

In Praise of #5: Drunken Master 2

Hello, 

and welcome to the latest of the 'In Praise Of' series. This will be the second one about a movie, after the one on Mad Max 2, accessible here. Today will be on another underrated classic, 'Drunken Master 2', also known as 'The Legend of Drunken Master.' This is a kung fu movie which even people with no interest in kung fu will enjoy, and one of the best martial arts and acrobatics films ever.

Better than it looks. [source]

I get the feeling that Hollywood movies like 'The Medallion', 'The Tuxedo' and maybe even the Rush Hour series will have tainted people against Jackie Chan. As opposed to his mediocre Hollywood Movies, which aren't great, this is a production from Hong Kong. For these Hong Kong movies, typically they will think up stunts and fights, and then staple a basic plot around them.


A usual Jackie Chan movie made in Hong Kong have in total:  
  20 minutes plot setting and comedy scenes 
  10 minutes love interest
  10 minutes uninformed Chinese propaganda
  40 minutes and fighting
  2 minutes action replay of stunts (deadly)
  3 minutes giving the main bad guy an excuse to get away so they can fight the: 
  10 minute conclusion fight and happy ending


However, for 'Drunken Master 2' this is different: The plot setting, love interest and comedy scenes are combined, which leaves you with half of the movie as action scenes. Also, the action, in terms of speed, precision, and acrobatic ability, are the best you'll ever see. This, of all Jackie's movies, is the one with the very best fights, and Jackie at the peak of his athletic powers. More importantly, he may also be at the peak of his powers as a physical comedian.

The Drunken Master technique requires booze, here Jackie overdoes it . [source]

The plot revolves around the use of the banned 'Drunken Master' technique, which which Jackie learned in the original movies. Apparently getting really drunk allows your reflexes to kick in and allows you to dish out some serious ass kicking. However, scientifically dubious fact is more or less irrelevant, as is the plot. The plot, such as it is, involves the British Consulate trying to steal some valuable Chinese jade ornaments. Eventually Jackie (or Wong Hei Fung) gets involved, and he has to try to reclaim them, prevent more theft, and also keep his father's Kung Fu school open. Yeah, you know what to expect, so instead, you watch for the fight scenes, which are impressive beyond mere words:  

However, there are some problems: It's set when Hong Kong is a British colony, (I think sometime between the two World Wars), and the British are shown as treacherous and duplicitous- the special services guy tells that if given the chance, they will steal the entire Great Wall of China. I don't want to get into the politics of it, but it does seem to forgive and forget the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution. This makes sense as the movie was made right before the handover of power back to China. However, this political stuff isn't particularly invasive or annoying, and luckily neither is the love story, which is subtly tacked on, giving Jackie someone to fight for other than his parents, and country.

Jackie's step-mother in the movie (she is seen in the video just above) is some pop star who is much younger than him. She's funny, and provides good humour to her scenes. She's also a very sympathetic character, and the movie shows the importance of family without ever getting too saccharine. Unintentional humour comes from some workers, who manage to steal guns from their British oppressors, only to break them up on their thighs, instead of, you know, using them. Other comedy scenes are patchy also. However, I don't want to sound negative, this is an excellent action movie, and one I've watched loads of times - it's one of those, introduce-it-to-friends-who-then-introduce-it-to-their-friends type movies. In case you are worried, it is a movie filled with action, but only rarely with violence: really, it's sheer entertainment.

The movie is underpinned by a half dozen jaw dropping fights. Other than the one linked above, and others, the scene below where Jackie and his new friend fight off a hundred members of a gang in a restaurant, is often mentioned as one of the best ever filmed. It can be seen in two parts here:

Probably the best of all is the insane final scene, which is a highpoint in action cinema. A battle which takes place in a smelting room takes up the final 15 minutes and is amazing. Jackie's main opponent (seen below) is his bodyguard and friend in real life, and only played the role when the original actor pulled out. He performs more than admirably. This scene is tense, brutal, and filled with genuine excitement. Watch it now:

For the record, that is Jackie Chan on fire, and escaping genuine flaming coals. Of this scene, Roger Ebert said "coming at the end of a film filled with jaw-dropping action scenes, this extended virtuoso effort sets some kind of benchmark. It may not be possible to film a better fight scene." I think he's right, here's the scene, it's incredible. 

Further acclamation was that TIME magazine chose this movie as one of its best 100 movies of all time, even though, on closer inspection, it listed 133 movies. Still, it's no mean feat. What makes this even more impressive that at the time of filming, 1994, Jackie was pushing 40 years old, he's still in incredible shape. Furthermore, this makes the scenes where he is beaten by his father (a man of roughly the same age as Jackie) for excessive drinking and fighting all the more insane. 

In conclusion: The best fight scenes ever filmed, with funny bits and which highlights family bonding and friendship as well, make this an absolute winner. However, this movie is not available on DVD in the UK (I have an Australian version) which is incredibly depressing. 'How I Met Your Mother' is on every single day, for sale in every shop, while you can't get one of the best action movies ever, Weak. Still, hunt it down, you won't regret it. Alternatively, just watch the videos above, that's pretty much the best stuff!


Have a great weekend, Pascal. 

In Praise of #4: The Almond

Another short, food-based In Praise of (more movie ones will come later, I promise.) Today, we honour the mighty almond: Prince of all nuts.

An unassuming drupe, it makes up in flavour what it lacks in aesthetic value. [source]

What is most interesting about an almond is that it isn't technically a nut, it's a drupe (although I'm not sure if anything on earth counts as a nut: peanuts, walnuts and hazelnuts are all technically not nuts!) What is best about the almond is that it has the almost unique ability to improve nearly every single dish on earth, be that dish savoury or sweet.

For example, add almonds to a Greek or Turkish Lamb dish, and the dish goes from being pleasant, to being the best thing on earth. Eat them on their own and they have a high nutritional value and deliver protein efficiently [source]. Add almond paste and almonds to a regular croissant (to make, wait for it, almond croissants) and you have both the least healthy potential breakfast dish ever, and the best tasting dish ever. Seriously, almond croissants are worth the inevitable diabetes you will get.

I was going to put up a picture of almond croissants, but that would make me too hungry. Instead, this is the beautiful almond blossom, which is attractive in the present, and suggests healthy almonds for the future. [source]

The only exception for me is Indian curries. Almonds are used as the base for Pasanda caurries, but they  aren't the best, though they are still ok. However, as the surprisingly thorough Wikipedia Page, says, the humble almond has contributed to nearly all of the best cuisines on earth. Anything which is used to make Lamb Tajine, Amaretto (the best of the wussy drinks), and french Macaroon biscuits, deserves nothing but our praise.

 For that, It's the king of all false nuts. Long live this usurper king!

In Praise of #3: The Belchin' Belgian: Belgian Beers.

Beer, beer beer beer BEER! Beer is great. Strong beer is greater. Belgian Beers are the greatest. I think most of these are Trappist, but I'm not sure what the distinction or definition of that is, but I know it has something to do with monks. Once you get above 8% strength, just drinking a couple gets you such a mellow, chilled drunk-ness that you just smile like a foreign exchange student. Even when some fat Brummie couple come up and smack your friend on the side of the head, your faith in humanity will be at an all-time high. All of the following will get you drunk, and all kick ass, so don't take the order too seriously. Also, Chimay isn't there, because there are too many different variations, but they're all worth a go too.

5. Forbidden Fruit - 8.8%

[source]

She's a beauty: a dark lustrous minx who'll fuck you up in no time. This is incidentally is what I look for in a woman. Tasty, exotic, and you really struggle to get it in Australia (when you do it's not cheap.) What's more, it has a picture of Adam tempting Eve with a beer on the front, which is both delicious and sacrilegious (sacrilicious?)

4. Duvel - 8.5%

[source]

This is good because it is close to ubiquitous in the United Kingdom. Any large supermarket will have this and at least one colour Chimay to help whet your Belgian beer beak. It's probably too strong a flavour to really enjoy, but luckily you only need a couple to induce a sense of wellness which is just swell.

When chilled correctly , it has a strong, refined taste. However, if you drink it warm, or even tepid, it tastes of iron mixed with sweat. Also, in supermarkets it went from £1.29 to £2.09 overnight, which means it's no longer a cheap swilling option, but a symbol of your refinement and culture (until you swill it in the middle of the street). This price rise on its own would be enough for me to condemn the libdem-conservative alliance, without even considering the awful things they are doing to the country.

3. Delirium Tremens 9.0%

[source] 

I love this, especially as you mainly get it in cool bars. The bottle is made of porcelain or something, and I actually have one of the glasses (which was NOT stolen from an Amsterdam bar). The beer itself is super strong, and does effect you on a serious level. I also love the fact that it's named after a side-effect of alcohol abuse. The pink and blue colour scheme adds to the delight, and the pink elephant motif is great fun, reminding everyone of Dumbo, and bringing a tear to their cragged, beer-stained faces. It's probably the logo I would most likely get tattooed (which still won't happen, as I have a personality.) 

On closer inspection, it looks kind of scary. [source]

2. Tripel Karmaliet 8.0%

[source]

Another beer with its own cool glass to drink from. A rarity factor in the U.K. means searching for it brings a whole 'thrill of the chase' aspect. Of the five I've listed, this probably has the best flavour, strong but tender, with a caramel scent (which I suppose is what the 'Karmaliet' means). It also has a cool, simple, rustic artwork on it: A joy.

1. Kwak 8.4%

[source]

This is the king, I suppose, the flavour is as good as the others, the odour is distinctly almond-ey, which is a great thing. What pushes it to the top for me is the vaguely medical-looking stand and glass that you drink it from (i.e. see above). It's awesome to the point that I actually have one, a box set with beer stand, another thing which should prevent me from ever getting laid again, luckily I'm tall. Still, a great beer, and probably Belgium's greatest contribution to culture. 

In Praise Of #2: The Haggis

Howdy folks, time tonight for a short and affectionate message to this, the king of all sausages.
This humble meal receives a largely negative depiction, it is often a byword for disgusting, or primitive foodstuffs. Yes, it is made in a sheep's stomach, and is offal which is ground up before oats and spices are added. I say, don't be squeamish, enjoy the flavour, which is second to none.

Think about the hot dog you're eating, you think that's proper meat? you think that's a more morally justifiable meal? It isn't, it's the bits you don't want to think about, and it tastes awful. Haggis, on the other hand, is the tastiest, heartiest sausage around, and it couldn't go better than with mashed up turnip and mashed potatoes. If you disagree with this, you are wrong.

Ok, I'll admit it's tastier than it looks. [source]

In Praise Of: Mad Max 2

The feature is as follows: To balance all of the homosexual talk and negative gossip in the rest of this blog in this wackily named feature 'In Praise Of' - I sing the praises of something which I think is underrated, or which is praised, but not enough. Today's thing, which is heralded as good, but is even better than that, is: 

Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior.

[Source] incidentally, the dog is a Blue Heeler, a fine and noble beast. 

  I'm not really gonna go through the plot, because if you don't know it, you should watch it, and if you have watched it, you'll know the plot. This is a very Australian take on the Western, a grim, high-octane action movie: effectively a Western on Wheels. Roger Ebert has said that it is "a film of pure action, of kinetic energy" and "one of the most relentlessly aggressive movies ever made." While Ebert points out that the movie does not develop its "...vision of a violent future world... with characters and dialogue" I argue that doing so would ruin the illusion: the fact that nobody knows what is going in is surely reflective of a world where communication and technology have broken down. It is therefore better to leave it to suggestion. some things are unexplained, such as why only a few guns work, the rest of the weaponry being based on arrows or fire. I also argue that Mad Max 2 might be the most subversive movie to ever make the mainstream. It suggests that the decline of society and law and order in Mad Max has conpletely brkoen down by the time of the sequel. All that is left now are marauders, scavengers, or those huddled together for safety.

  The movie contains one of the very weirdest and most frightening of movie bad guys, the Lord Humongous. A nearly naked muscular giant with a hockey mask covering his presumably scarred face, his exposed scalp covered in burns. He speaks in a strangely calming, measured Germanic accent through a microphone, using psychological warfare to coax out the group huddled in the petrol compound. He offers words of peace and mutual compromise, but to leave would mean their almost certain deaths. His measured speeches suggest a sense of decency and intelligence, but their actual meaning is hinted at when he is stunning his henchman, "we do it my way...then we have our revenge." No one doubts when he is scorned for the last time, that he will do all in his power to ensure that "nobody gets out of here alive." He is ludicrous and yet believable, in a world where the strong survive, he leads the strong. His decision to avoid getting himself and his allies flame throwered when besieging the base also suggests a calm thinking under pressure. He is, at once a leader you can rely on, and be terrified of.

He's a big guy all right, with a gun, a hockey mask, and with two corpses on the front of his vehicle. Who could say no to that?

  However, what is more interesting is the Humongous' dog of war, Wez, a man with a mohawk, American football armour, and leather chaps with the buttocks exposed showing. Although  he is a threat throughout the movie, he only really turns psychotic when his gay lover is killed, his howl of anguish evidence of a deep and forbidden love. His lover, described as the 'golden youth' in the end credits, was by Wez's side, silent and as pliant as a puppy until his brutal death. Look at the satisfaction on Wez's face when he blows up Max's car, his vengeance nearly complete. The scene at the film's conclusion, where Wez springs up from the bonnet of the truck, has made it into popular culture. For example, it is featured in, 'Beyond Blunderdome', that Simpsons episode with pre-crazy Mel Gibson). Despite the exigencies of the world meaning that, as the Humungous says "we all lost someone we love," it seems that the main reason for Wez's ferocity is to gain vengeance on those who killed his lover.

[source] Wez with his whipping boy/catamite, the Golden Youth

The whole movie is underpinned not just by tight action sequences, impressive set-pieces and fearful, desperate conversations in the camp itself, but a very Australian brand of humour. The scene where the Gyro Captain is the prisoner of Max's dog; the delighted laughter which peels around the gang when Toady's fingers are chopped off; or the scene where Max driving by blows over a tent to expose a couple having sex, all provide much needed dark comic relief. Similarly, the tension of the rape scene, shown at a distance, through snatched  binocular vision, is juxtaposed with the novelty value of the Sky captain's 2-meter-long telescope.

[source] The Gyro Captain and Dog (in scarf)

  The two new heroes to the camp, Max and the Gyro Captain, show two different ways to survive. While the Gyro Captain can use his vehicle to literally distance himself from the rest, the stress of this modern world mean that his sanity is a distant memory.

For example, he is able to watch from above and offer aid when Max most needs it (Max is in the truck.)

Meanwhile, Max must suppress all emotion to best scavenge a meagre survival. Initially motivated by greed and petrol, his old instincts as a law enforcer kick in, and he helps to protect the community. His relationship with the feral child, who travels with him on the final battle, helps him to rekindle his idea of the brighter side of humanity. It is noticeable though, that of the two 'sexually available' females, the Sky Captain immediately chooses one, while Max turns his back on the Amazonian warrior woman (for the record, I wouldn't have, danger lovers are GREAT!)

[source] The Warrior woman, with her expensive but cheap-looking clothes, messy hair, and incomprehensible voice, is seen here pre-empting upper-class English student fashion circa 2008-11

  It is an aggressive and largely bleak movie. There is a quite suggestive rape and murder of someone from the compound, and the threat of starvation or murder permeates the camp, informing the community's decision to leave. They are safe, but not for long, and the theme of time is often evoked throught the movie. For example, the leader of the community, Papagello, plays with a sand timer when he volunteers to drive the tanker; he knows that the success of the group depends on him sacrificing his life: for him, time is running out. Other scenes of brutality include when Max's loyal dog is executed; Max himself narrowly avoids a similar fate when his booby-trapped car kills his would-be executioner. Resultantly, he fights the final battle injured, and goes out of his way to protect the feral kid. Wonderfully, the final battle is lost, there are still plenty of bad guys left, they just give up when they realise that there is no gas in the truck. Instead it has been an elaborate trap to prevent them from killing the rest of the group. The conclusion suggests that Max escapes, he did after all make the forgettable Beyond Thunderdome after this, but it does end on a downer. It is very definitely not a Hollywood movie.

[source] There have also been accusations of homo-eroticism. These accusations are hard to deny. 

 Despite this, the movie has reached into popular culture. See for example, that fact that Martin Crane on the show Frasier calls his winnebago the Road Warrior, with the unhelpful registration of 'RDWRR;' or the continued use of images from South Park, to illustrate Stan has a poster of 'Street Warrior' on his wall, and two of the boys are chased by the heavily armed truck from the films conclusion when they upset Mel Gibson. Also, the Frankie Goes To Hollywood song 'Two Tribes,' now a homosexual anthem, is said to be based on the conflict in the movie, while further evidence can be seen on this page.

[source] This is the Ghanian poster of the movie. I don't know what those guys are on.

In conclusion:
This is a movie which in its own way, offers a potentially prophetic view of the future shorn of gas, shorn of sexual, political and economic more, where gas is the king. The movie provides some of the sickest and slickest action of any movie, and is tightly scripted. The heroes and villains are often shades of grey, and the whole thing is surprisingly cerebral for something with such a straightforward plot. Mel Gibson has described the whole Mad Max trilogy as 'youthful trash' - but then look at him now. I genuinely believe that this, alongside the Godfather part 2, and Drunken Master 2, are the best sequels of all time.

On a personal note, I like how there are camels in a pen surrounding the compound, which are never mentioned, and I also like that the feral kid is now running a jewellery store in Sydney, at least according to rumour. I have seen a youtube mashup which suggests that Americans travel to Australia to watch the carnage, suggesting that only Australia descended into chaos, while the rest of the world thrives, however I can't find that anywhere.

[Source] Though his adult self may work as a jeweller, you can still see hundreds of him as a youth if you go to Wakefield, Liverpool, or Dundee.  

Ok, some more pictures to put up:

Wez flips out with when his pet catamite dies.

Wez and Humongous wrestle their differences away.