1980: Altered States (63)

What else happened this year? I have no goddam idea - was this the year that the olympics were boycotted? Actually, Reagan also got elected for the first time. That'll do it. 

What is the plot - in one sentence? A 'brilliant' scientist combines isolation tanks and drugs to develop a theory about the innate commonality of all life in the universe.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? He undergoes some hallucinatory events in the pod, then reverts to an ape form and attacks some people. In a later experiment he turns into a giant, amorphous blob, and is drawn into the ancient emotion of terror... he's only saved by that second most ancient of emotions - love: his wife brings him back from the abyss.

What is the meaning of the title? He's a psycho-pathologist... and he's studying 'altered states' of consciousness

This is from what may be a hallucination. I'll post it here because I know one of the very few people likely to ever read this will almost die from seeing this image.

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? There's no violence to women, which is something, but there do seem to be some animals killed in the making of the movie - a fairly realistic monitor lizard corpse is shown, and a deer probably was killed onscreen. The 'ape-man' also slaps a real elephant, and messes with dogs, both of which must have taken some balls.

Our hero has some drug induced visions, and they are either cgi or greenscreen, which haven't aged well. There's also a near constant flash in both types. They haven't aged well, nor would any epileptic who was watching them.

The central tenant, a borderline Autistic-savant guy has woman fall in love with him, is a bit played out now too, I think. Last but not least, the central conceit of the movie, that there are regressive genes, sounds a bit pseudo-science for today's sci-fi, but I can't fault it for trying.

Any thoughts? An awkward but brilliant scientist and an attractive redhead pair up, and she tries to stop him from destroying himself after a series of body horror incidents. That sentence describes this movie, and also David Cronenberg's 'The Fly' which this movie obviously had an influence on - probably moreso than the original black and white movie it is ostensibly based on.

The main scientist is the guy who played robocop, I didn't mention that. He has a 'regression' into an ape form, but seems to be progressing through time in regressions. He follows the same principle in the same hallucination pod, and his cheeks swell out significantly.. and we wait (as an audience) to see what has happened to him... I was expecting it to be an orangutan standing there. I was disappointed that it was a mere amorphous blob. 

Would you recommend this? Kinda. I have to give it points for trying at least. I genuinely wasn't expecting that ape scene at all. This was pretty tense and interesting too. Check it out, I'd say

Final thoughts? Both of the main stars were happy to be nude in a variety of scenes, something that would be noteworthy today, but wasn't then. There's also a lot of implied sex - when they first meet, and then when she tries to 'get over him', by sleeping around - which is refreshing in this day and age of sexless superhero movies. There's also a lot of arguing about science between scholars, on a mid-ish budget movie, that would be unlikely to happen today either. That's a pity, as cinema is a more interesting art with a healthy independent to mid-level scene.

Oh, Drew Barrymore is there, as one of the kids, she's in it for a mere moment, and is still recognisable. Weird that she's only in her, what, middle age now?

Feel like life is a lie? Check out the other 62 of these I've done. there's been some complaint that I am doing too many English language movies, the people complaining: tau ni ma.

 

1978 Jubilee (62nd)

What else happened this year? Punk had broken. Russia invaded Afghanistan, which luckily lead to that country becoming a peaceful, outward-facing democracy ever since then [sources required]

What is the plot - in one sentence? Queen Victoria goes into the future to watch some punks in the aftermath of what appears to have been a violent revolution in the UK.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? The four main female punks of the movie are taken to Dorset, which is now a sort of East Berlin of Britain, to be put under the leadership of (an incredibly annoying) record producer. Queen Victoria heads back into the past, and I don't blame her.

What is the meaning of the title? It's a reference to the Jubilee of the queen, which happened that year. There are also some jubilee underwear given as prizes in a bingo run by a Scouseman.  

This shot is taken from a party scene latish on in the movie. If you've given up watching it at normal speed, and you're watching it at 1.25 speed, it's still as slow as the music was insane at that speed. Also, if you can make a sexy disco scene with a bunch of naked bishops dancing away boring enough that someone has to play it at 1.25x speed, you either have a jaded viewer or a trying-too-hard movie. Perhaps both?

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? Yes, the gang of female killers slap a restaurant worker around. There's no violence to women by men though, though I'm willing to take your word for it if it was there somewhere. This is very of its time, shining a light on the 'punk' ethos, and reminding us all of how annoying it must have been to be around when it was happening. A lot of things which may have been 'shocking' are now annoying from this distance of time. Perhaps the most interesting thing is that they filmed it around parts of London which were still effected by the blitz, and rubble-strewen, in 1978.

Any thoughts? This was episodic and about punks. So it was annoying and at times pretentious. Toyah Wilcox plays a little, shaven headed punk who is violent and annoying, and there's a giant punk who can do ballet. She does ballet while naked people watch and there's a fire. Ooh, so shocking. 

It seems that there's no ethos to punks other than being annoying and unpredictable. There's no sense of disestablishment for them either, as there's still a huge link to fascist states, and it's still tied into the establishment - look at Johnny Rotten today, for instance shows that. A couple of performances of Rule Britainnia by a very unattractive 'model' doing nazi salutes, and a 'punk version of ' Jersusalem' both reminded me of that, and annoyed me. I'd have joined a ska band or something if I was around then.

The whole thing smacks of trying too hard to be edgy. Ballet performed around naked people, the queen mugged and robbed, sex in front of other people, incestuous brothers, nudity for no reason, and the gang of girl punks committing crimes and murders. The music itself is kept to the background, including a performance by Adam And The Ants I wasn't able to discern was good or not within the logic of the movie.

I've mentioned that Toyah Wilcox's character was annoying, and a few others were, but the oligarchic disco boss was the most annoying of all, punctuating everything with a shrill laugh. It was annoying the first time, he does it about 45, 607 times.

Would you recommend this? No. In fact this will make me take another extended break from this. Watching movies is much less fun when you know you have to write stuff about it, and that goes doubly for movies I didn't like.

Final thoughts? It took me a while to figure out that one of the bisexual incestuous brothers was Reg from Mum and from a million other things - he's Cato the Elder in Rome, for example. I hadn't seen him in anything but him as an old codger, so it was kind of funny to see him young.

My last question is, and I put it to you, What was the point of the Queen Victoria going back in time shite and the midget she had with her? No fuckin' reason at all, it's just there. 

 Here you go, this might be the last for a while (hint, it isn't, but it didn't help) - you can find the others right here.

1942: Yankee Doodle Dandy (61st)

What else happened this year? The world had finally come together... in war. The biggest events of 1942's war, battle in North Africa, Japan invades the Philippines, Singapore is captured, the battle of midway, and a bunch of stuff in Europe. Great times huh?

What is the plot - in one sentence? This is a biopic of the song and dance man George M. Cohan, a celebrated Broadway performer and writer, and he tells his life story as he goes to the White house to talk to a silhouette of Franklin Roosevelt.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? He's tells his tale, is given the Medal Of Honour, and comes out to a parade of soldiers who are just about to leave, who are singing one of his songs.

What is the meaning of the title? The song Yankee Doodle Dandy comes from one of Cohan's plays - seemingly about a cheated jockey. That said, he took the tune and reworked it into his play. He also refers to himself as a Yankee Doodle Dandy to the president.

That's James Cagney in the hat, jumping up. He's over 40 at the time this was filmed, which makes it even more impressive I suppose. His character tries to sign up to fight in WWI, but is too old to be a recruit, in a move that definitely wasn't designed to make able-bodied men sign up to be shot at by Axis powers.

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? No one gets slapped around except for George when he was a particularly annoying kid - why he found time to tell that part of the story to the President is unknown. His father spanks him and says 'that's one part of your body without talent,' which would be - at best - weird today. 

There's also a bit where he and his family are Gollywog dancers, and this don't fly today except in the South of America. Oh, and they have that weird thing where the guy playing Cohan is much older than the woman who is playing his mother, but that's just showbiz.

It is also telling that he has no kids, and a loving wife, which is still pretty uncommon in movies today, especially biopics, which need a bit of drug addiction and sauce to juice them up.

Any thoughts? This didn't help that I hadn't heard of Goerge M. Cohan before this, and assumed he was a sort of fictional amalgam of various successful Broadway people. It may as well be, as it has a lot of character beats that you would expect from such a thing: he's loyal to his family, wife and business partner, has various successes and failures, but seems competent and genuinely talented. He's from a reasonably humble-but-hardworking showbusiness background, and gets fame through his talent and from his ability to write material that every day Americans seem to love. There isn't any real drama, other than a few minor setbacks, which he overcomes, this is a very positive movie, he even parts ways with his writing partner successfully..

Surprisingly, he's played by James Cagney. He dances with skill and grace, which I had no idea about. My only other experiences with him are him being a gangster or tough guy. It seems that his dancing and singing style were modelled on the real George Cohan, which I guess acts as a bit of an excuse. His dancing style is a little strange (he walk / dances like a gorilla often), his singing style is strange (the song 'Yankee Doodle Dandee' is delivered in a flat, long-version of talking which is really strange). I am not sure that how accurate it is, or even if Cagney could sing properly for real (I believe in his dance skills, he shows them off often), but he hits all of his dramatic beats and has a genuine charisma.He's a good lead for this.

Would you recommend this? Kind of. It has perhaps been passed by other biopics since it came out, at this juncture, the lack of drama certainly feels a little generic, but they put a lot of effort into the dancing and singing, and it feels epic in scope. Sure it's a patriotic piece, about an American hero, and it is probably encouraging people to join the army, but if you couldn't do that in 1942, when could you? I liked it.

Final thoughts? Cohan meets his future wife, aged 17, and he's dressed as an old man for part of a play (something I think will be frowned upon in future, I've let it be known). He looks pretty cool in an old man beard, and freaks her out with some fast dancing, but it's James Cagney in his 40s, dressed as an old gentleman, pretending to be 17. Let's just say he doesn't look 17. 

The two of them go away together and make auditions for some of his material, which causes something of a rift in his family (which is resolved, of course). The problem I had was that I couldn't tell what was supposed to be good or bad singing: he sings a song about a guy named Flannigan, and it didn't seem that bad, but it's rejected by a couple of financiers (who, wouldn't you know it, come to rue that particular day). However, I think it's meant to be a crappy song, but to my ear, that song and Yankee Doodle Dandy were the same except the latter had extras and stage setting, and choreography.

There you go, you gorgeous people. This is the 61st, all the others can be found here. Don't work too hard.

1988 Navigator: A Medieval Odyssey, The (60th!)

What else happened this year? From memory, this is when Pinochet got kicked out - I was kind of right, he lost a vote an was booted out two years later. Seems a lot of burgeoning independence in USSR states, too.

What is the plot - in one sentence? A filthy bunch of Medieval miners, led by a kid who can see the future, head to 'a city' to plant an enchanted cross that will ward off the Black plague.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? The city in question is, of course, 1988 Wellington. They don't seem to realise that they are in the future, and eventually get the cross up. Despite the act of getting to the church taking most of the movie, they return very quickly, It's found that the kid had the plague, and he's (implied to be) buried on a lake. He caught it from his brother.

What is the meaning of the title? The kid who has visions is the navigator, and they do go on an odyssey in the medieval era.

 

Here's the kid and his older brother. There's not much of a family resemblance in terms of their: personalities, looks or accents. This is from just shortly before the older one fucks off for the rest of the movie for no reason.

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? No, the single woman in the movie is happily pregnant, and... they don't even meet a woman while they're in the future. It's weird enough that it has aged as well as it can: it was as of the time then as it is now.

Any thoughts? This was weird. The group that they get to go along 'to the city' don't seem to mind that they're in the future at all. Other than freaking out at a busy road, they don't really comment on it, other than that it's a city, so anything can happen.They don't really get up to much - they meet a blacksmith, cross a road, find the church, so it's not really an 'Odyssey' in any real sense.

They're described as 'Cumbrian' miners, but the accents are just terrible, up there with some of the worst ever heard. They may as well have kept speaking New Zealand accent - this is a Kiwi movie. The worst offender was the main kid, who did a kind of Irish brogue which sounded jarring even in the gang of others. Speaking of which, a New Zealand movie, where a ragtag group of men go on a mission, some of whom are comic relief? It is a bit Lord Of The Rings lite.

There are occasional interesting scenes, like the emergence of a Submarine from the sea, a horse on a boat, and a giant skeleton floating past the moon blowing a horn. However, these interesting scenes are few and far between. There's some nice cinematography, but the central conflict - they've got to get a church bell up on a church before dawn, would be done easily if there wasn't a needless conflict between the leader of the gang and the kid - he chases him on a horse for some reason. It's weird, but weirdly earnest, too.

Would you recommend this? Through this I was watching it and thinking 'who is this for?' Is it an art film? There are a lot of arty diversions and shots. The central story, a violence-free, sexless quest, in the future, is for kids, you'd assume - but other than the main one, there aren't really any. It's a very strange thing, and was almost always destined for obscurity.

Final thoughts? This features an electronics shop with a wall of TVs for passersby to admire, and which appears in most 1980s movies. Come to think of it, they appear in most movies where people travel in time. I am not sure that anything like that ever happened in real life, presumably it's expensive to run all night, and risky to do anyway, so I will guess that it's the invention of movies. I won't check it out because I don't really care. 

A lot of shots are repeated - the kid has the vision, and then it happens in real life, and then it is shown again. It's pretty jarring. There's a scene of a lit torch being flung down a deep mining hole, from the side, which is shown about 5 times. When the kid 'falls' at the end, we're shown him falling probably 6 times. I don't remember how he was saved... oh it was an 'it was all a dream' ending. Yeah, that ending.

 

 

60 down now - probably about 50 to go, I can't believe it either. All of my dreams are coming true. The rest are all available here. 

1937: Born To The West (59th)

What else happened this year? Amelia Aerhart went missing. It's correct, but her name is spelled Amelia Earhart. That ought to show people that I know global history, all right.

What is the plot - in one sentence? A couple of cowhands (one of whom is John Wayne) come to town, and meet a cousin who is now a successful cattle driver / entrepreuner.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? The cowhands are put in charge of a cattle drive, defend the cattle from a rustling, and then almost lose all of the money in a rigged gambling game. Almost... at the end the cousin wants him to stay, and presumably let him continue hitting on his girlfriend.

What is the meaning of the title? The title card says 'Born to the West (reissue title Hell Town)'. Neither of those make sense. Hell town makes no sense, as there's not even really a town they're in for very long, and it's not exactly hellish. Born to the west doesn't make sense either, as they talk of their home back east. I'm guessing it's just a random jumbling of Western-style words.  

This scene never happens in the movie, she's never in peril from anyone but him. [source]

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? The 'action' scenes of cattle driving and horse chasing are all taken from earlier silent movies which then had some sound dubbed on top of them. The other scenes, mainly set in bars and offices, are the new footage. It's jarring as hell if you don't know what's going on, because the film is shot in two different styles. 

As for violence? The woman of the movie (tm) is treated very well by the two cousins. More on her later. This also has another of those Western tropes which doesn't play well today: the besotted best friend. John Wayne's mate comes everywhere with him, which seems a fairly common theme in Western movies, but is much more fun to read them as being a gay couple. He's obsessed with lightning rods, you can't tell me that's not a phallic coincidence.

Any thoughts? This is not even an hour long. there must be about 15 minutes of cattle and horse footage from other movies, and the rest follows the 'plot' such as it is. But because there's so little time, there's no real need for any deviation from the story or characterisation. There's no slieght of hand with plot or characterisation: they don't trust him? they come out and tell him. There's going to be an attack. We see it planned, undertaken, and then the aftermath. they then move on. There's no time for subtext.

The only diversion is the relatively lengthy romance stuff between John Wayne and the one woman... even though she seems to be with the cousin at the beginning. Anyway, they flirt a lot and have some zippy dialogue, and it's fine, she's very pretty and cute, and John Wayne still has some youth in his cheeks. However, the most remarkable thing is that this woman, Marsha Hunt, who was the romantic lead in a movie from 1937, is still alive in 2021, she's over 100 years old. It's nice to know that someone who was able to flirt with John Wayne before WWII is still kicking around in a nursing home somewhere.

Would you recommend this? Not really. It's weird seeing footage from other movies thrust into another movie, and it's weird seeing a plot which is so straight forward that it's over in a hour, and it's nice to see a movie from this long ago with a star who's still alive, but it doesn't all add up to anything I'd want to watch again.

Final thoughts? The 'successful' cousin (who is a sheriff and businessman, it seems) at the end is henpecked into making John Wayne a partner, despite the fact that he just saved him from losing all of the money he got from a cattle drive. We'd call him a gambling addict now. John Wayne also spends all his time hitting on this guy's girlfriend. It's not a good idea to make him a business partner.

The opening title has 6 different actor names: 3 of them are named John.

This movie is also notable for John Wayne slinking around it with a black eye, after some losses from gambling. Of course. Anyway, this is a completely unremarkable movie, yet I've still made a lot of remarks about it.

 

This is the 59th in a series which may end up being over 100. I hope you're as excited as I am. Anyway, the other 58, and any which will arrive in the future, are all to be found here, for your erotic pleasure. 

2003: High Tension (aka Haute Tension) (58th)

What else happened this year? In 2003 I finished school. While some of my classmates are now grandparents, I still have time to work on things like this. As for global politics? Look it up yourself. 

What is the plot - in one sentence? Two student friends head to one of their family's homes, where they are all set upon by a serial killer who looks a lot like Donald Trump.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? It's not a Trump-look alike, it's the friend. She's a delusional psychotic with lusts after her friend, the Trump guy is merely a manifestation. After killing all of her family, some boring events happen that put the killer in a psychiatric hospital, and the girl is there, still shocked to see the woman who killed her entire family (and dog)

What is the meaning of the title? It sure is high tension.

 

This is from one of the interminable scenes at the end. As opposed to the interminable scenes elsewhere in the movie. For the record, left is the crazy, lesbian one, the one on the right is her pal. 

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? I'd say the whole movie hasn't aged well. As for violence to women, one is tortured, one is sliced up and has her hand hacked off, and a dog and a kid are (introduced solely because they will be) killed.

This might also be one of the last movies to have a 'lesbians = crazy' as the gist of the whole movie.

Any thoughts? This was terrible. Any potential horror of the home invasion is removed when she continually makes the stupidest decisions ever seen in a horror movie. It takes her minutes to get to the kitchen to look for a weapon, and she stays silent to avoid the killer, unless she's moving a cupboard noisily and for no real reason. 

The big reveal, that she's the killer!, means that even those dumb decisions were non-existent. When that reveal happens, we're left with a few interesting and violent killings, a bunch of plot holes, and an hour to kill.

The central reveal also opens up a million other questions - how did so many people sleep through a noisy murder in the house? where did the rape van that she drives come from- she got a lift down with her mate? We're shown 'the killer' masturbating with a disembodied head, which is lobbed out of a window and left there, did any of that happen? If not, then, what??

Would you recommend this? Nope. Unpleasant to begin with, exasperating afterwards, and then the stupidest reveal of all time. If this had been in English, it would be held as dreadful and rightfully forgotten, but because it's French it still makes lists of best horror movies of the 21st century. Disappointing, as I love horror movies.

Final thoughts? Scariest thing about it is the girl who is the object of her affections, she's the one on the right in the picture above, holding the knife. A brief Wiki search shows that in real life she met her husband, French director Luc Besson at age 12. He was 29. 

By the time she was 20 she'd been left with a 4 year old child, ditched for a similarly aged but infinitely prettier Milla Jovovich. Poor kid. 

I also discovered that she was that blue, singing alien in the Fifth Element that had important information in her stomach. Jeez I bet that movie hasn't aged well. 

 

That's enough of this nonsense. 58 are done now, you can see the rest, in chronological order, here, and most of them aren't so disappointing.

1944: Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo (57th)

What else happened this year? War stuff. D-Day I guess? Right. Oh, America also had an election, in the middle of the war?? Cool.

What is the plot - in one sentence? We follow the training, action and aftermath of the Doolittle Raid on Japan in 1941, (it's based on a book by one of the real bombers.)

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? They bomb the shit out of the... uh... nips, are treated hospitably be the Republic of China where they crash land. The squad we follow most closely gets out of it and returns to America. In this crew, the lieutenant loses a leg, but he's allowed to keep flying, and his wife doesn't mind, because he's good looking, apparently.

What is the meaning of the title? Very true to the title, they're over Tokyo very briefly. They spend an enormous amount of time in China after the raid, as well as a lot of time training before they go. 

                 some pretty impressive model work from the bombing scene. Fair play there.

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? No slapping around!! It's interesting that this was made so soon after the REAL doolittle bomb, and it's presumably for morale purposes to the US and its allies. While the term Nips and Japs are used a lot, I guess that makes sense for the times...Speaking of allies, the Republic of China is shown to be completely outgunned and out of basic supplies,  but doing their best. If this was made today, it would probably be financed by China, and it would probably have earnest communists killing Japanese soldiers with their bare hands and curing people with bogus medicines. Just like that movie Midway. Anyway, it's an interesting snapshot of the time.

Also, the main guy, the lieutenant, is played by Van Johnson, and his extraordinarily earnest wife keeps telling us that he's a good-looking fella, another sign of the time now, as he isn't what you'd call traditionally handsome. 

Also interesting is that so many seemingly able-bodied actors weren't out fighting. Robert Mitchum was in this, surely he'd be better off shooting guys in real life.

Any thoughts? Ok, the strike itself, and the shots of flying, are impressive and have aged amazingly. It's a shame that the actual raid is over so quickly, as we have to deal with the romance and training montages before, and the threat of capture afterwards. That's fair, but I would have liked some more flight stuff.

As this is based on a book, and the movie is based on a then still ongoing war, I wonder how real it is to the actual events, and how much has been propagandised (again, I understand why it would be). The navy and air force get along just famously in this, and I imagine that in real life they'd have a bit more of a rivalry.

Spencer Tracy, as Doolittle, each gives repeated chances and reasons for them to leave and not go through with the bombing, and I wonder how true to life that was too. 

Probably most amusingly, there's a brief scene of three wives of the pilots at the beach (all in full clothing, also) and two of them are already pregnant, and the other says that she's so bored she's going to volunteer at a munitions factory. That ought to solve that one for you love. The romance is to be expected, I suppose, but it's a bit of a drag, and makes the movie a little longer than it should be.

Would you recommend this? Yeah, it's overlong, but the effects remain impressive and it's a great indication of the time it was made in. I'll recommend it. 

Final thoughts? One of the pilots of a plane which we don't follow as closely is a young Robert Mitchum. Young Robert Mitchum looks exactly like Old Robert Mitchum, maybe the fact that he always looked in his 50s made him avoid having to fight and allowed him to film this movie instead. 

Another of the crews has a huge Virginian who is obsessed with Texas, and who talks in a baffling Jive talk. I was secretly glad to hear that he was captured, but in the end I misheard and he's fine. Pity.

Before the actual plan is told to the crews, not a single one of them guesses that they're going to bomb Japan.I imagine that in reality, they would have been more on the freakin' ball, they'd have had to be, surely?

Oh, one of our main crew has a camera and films a bit of the flying from the planes hold. I presume that this is a real thing that was added for attention to detail, but I kept thinking that it would come to something: a military policeman tells him he can't? He still films. He's filming during the flight over Japan? No consequences to the mission. I thought it was going to serve a greater purpose, or be a vital element in some arrest or mystery, but in the end NOTHING happens with it. Talk about a tease. 

Anyway, that's 57 done. The other 56 are right here, waiting for you when you get home, and don't you make this baby grow up without a father, Lieutenant.

1997: Suzaku (aka 萌の朱雀) (56th)

What else happened this year? Princess Diana died in the back of a limousine. The world went fucking mad. I was living in New Zealand as a particularly awkward adolescent, and was amazed by how much it impacted people on the other side of the world.

What is the plot - in one sentence? We follow a family living in a remote, mountainous Japanese village over time.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? We first see them looking forward to a new train-line which will bring some modernity and ease to the valley they live in. We cut to 15 years later, and it hasn't arrived, to the disappointment of most in the valley, and the father of the family in particular - he'd seemingly relied on a job on the railway. The family has the parents, his mother (ie the grandmother) their daughter, and a slightly older-than-her cousin. 

By the end of the movie, the father has died / commit suicide, the mother and daughter go to live with her family, and the remaining two perform rituals and look to move closer to where the cousin works. The house is about to be empty, as many others around the valley are implied to be too. Throughout it is interspersed with footage of villagers, seemingly taken by the father before his death.

What is the meaning of the title? I don't know. I even looked it up. It's not the family name, the region, the town, anything like that. It seems like it's a family name. But it isn't their family name, so who knows? Further study suggests that it's the name of the god of the south of Japan... but are they even in the south of Japan? There's no indication that's where they are, I'll just move on and chalk this one up to 'not sure.' 

This bridge appears a lot in the movie. I love how lush the Japanese summer looks. I've also given up trying to write witty things under these pictures.

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? No one gets slapped around! It's a miracle, the closest we come is when the boy cousin is playing around with the girl cousin and he pretends to punch her. He's just mucking around though. The fact that she's in love with him is potentially worrying, but we can excuse that as a crush.

Any thoughts? The mother takes a job in a hotel where the cousin works (i.e. that cousin is her nephew), and this movie uses that very movie-only trope of 'the mother coughs once, that is enough to show she has medical problems' and sure enough she faints while at work. That fainting seems to spur on her desire to move nearer to her own family. This trope ignores the fact that most people, including my own mother, cough constantly and don't faint.

I suppose the turning point of the movie is the death / suicide of the father, but the whole thing is shot distantly enough, and with enough time passing that it isn't so dramatic, it's just another feature of their lives. We realise that the town itself and the family inside it, will have to move on or die, and that's what happens. It's also hinted at happening all around the valley. 

I knew that nothing was going to happen, and was very content with that. I was then surprised that it had as much going on as it did. It's a slice of life movie, but at an important part of their lives. 

Would you recommend this? The scenery was beautiful, and summery shots are nice and relatively relaxed even with scenes which were ominous. There's also some nice, and interesting footage of people who were obviously locals to where they were filming. This was a very personal seeming movie, and definitely worth a watch. 

Final thoughts? The movie starts off with an introduction to the family, and then it cuts to them 15 years later. In the earlier section, the older boy cousin is slavishly devoted to the toddler-aged cousin, which is then mirrored with her being 'in love' with him when they are older. This is a type of love that seems to involve a lot of waiting in the rain for him to pick her up, quick moood swings and jealousy from her), anbd then a few kind moments together at a festival and on the rooftop... but anyway, the boy cousin is meant to be about 13 or so in the earlier flashback, and if the kid playing him is straight, I'm sober.* 

It seems that the movie was played by a few part time actors and a couple who seem to have made a career in it. The father, for example, is familiar from a lot of Takashi Miike movies, and is more recently known from the Wailing [spoiler alert] - he's the Japanese guy who is a demon and is bothering the Korean village. Interesting side note, every Japanese person I know who has told me about that movie has said it is very racist against Japanese people, and I can't argue with them really.

56 down, only a certain amount to go. Here are the others.

*not that there's anything wrong with that.

1956: The Wrong Man (55th!)

What else happened this year? Cold War stuff most likely - is '56 the invasion of budapest? *Checks* Yes, yes it was.

What is the plot - in one sentence? Despite looking like Henry Fonda, some poor police work and overenthusiastic witness work puts Henry Fonda in jail for a crime he didn't commit.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? He didn't commit the crimes (a series of stick-up jobs around the town). It's also a true story. Also, they arrested him because of his overcoat and hat, in an age where everyone wore that same outfit. His wife goes into a depression here, but we're told that it took her two years in real life to overcome it.

What is the meaning of the title? They arrest the wrong man for a crime he didn't commit. 

 

So this is the brother-in-law and wife of the main character. They don't interact much, but some light, drunken internet browsing shows that they are both alive as of August 2021. How cool.

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? Henry Fonda's Character, who is based on a real person, is named Christopher Emanuel "Manny" Balestrero (more on that later). He's so earnest that he doesn't slap his wife after she beats him with a candlestick in a depressive rage (again, more on that later). In the 1950s you'd get jailtime for NOT slapping your wife in that situation.

She goes from stressed-out about the trial, to 'crazy' almost instantly. She is dealt with by 1950s psychiatry: she is aggressively cross-examined and then discussed behind her back by her doctor and husband. At the movie's end, we're told that the real Mrs Balestrero recovered, but it ends pretty abruptly.

Probably the most telling thing is, this would be a podcast or a single episode of a crime series now, not a two hour movie.

Any thoughts? So, the main part of the movie is that it's fact based, and the wrong man was arrested. We show him going through the system of justice when it can go wrong - unreliable witnesses, hostile and prejudiced police, a mistrial, and you get to see the end results of this. He's clearly innocent, but he's forced into jail and is out to see bail, and it has a huge effect on his family. However, showing all of this and all of these processes is VERY slow.

This is a very slow movie. It's largely for effect - it's a sapping experience to be screwed around by the system, but that doesn't help. When he first is put into a cell, the camera follows him around the cell, and then he sits against the wall, while the camera moves in an A and then a V pattern, with violin music, getting more and more intense, and then the camera moves more and more quickly, and the music gets louder... but it lasts about 2 minutes and it's mental, for want of a better word.

There's also no doubt whatsoever that he's innocent. He's probably the most earnest and wholesome character who Henry Fonda ever played in his life, which is saying something. I imagine that the real life person who this happened to was a little less innocent. Who knows why the police happened to arrest a guy called Mr. Balestrero?? Speaking of which, Henry Fonda does try to speak a little Spanish in this movie, which he seems to do at gun point.

Probably the most interesting thing I found is that the characters playing Balestrero's wife and brother in law are both alive and well at the time of writing - she's in her 90s and he's well over 100. How fantastic is that?

Would you recommend this? I wouldn't really. There are better Hitchcock ones around, and better Henry Fonda movies around. It's not without its charms or anything, but it was very slow and not very captivating.

Final thoughts? Speaking of Hitchcock, this is another movie of his about a case of mistaken identity. Vera Miles, (who plays the wife here) was in Psycho, released a few years later (she was Janet Leigh's sister). There's also a similarly weird showing of psychiatry there, too.

But probably the most telling indication that this was a Hitchcock movie - save for the introduction by the man himself at the beginning, and honestly, who does that nowadays? - was the two smug, hysterical women who finger Henry Fonda (not like that) in a police line-up, and then do the same for the real criminal, but are unable to make eye contact with Henry Fonda after that happens.

Oh, I forgot my favourite part of the movie: the 'real' criminal is caught, he's robbing a deli, and a Jewish woman pulls a knife at him and stamps her feet like a goat, while her husband wrestles him. She calls the police and he says 'he's going no where.' It's awesome, and probably those Jews are coded as having seen some things, if they're around in the 1950s.

55 of these - where does all the time go? To watching movies and then writing about them. I do this for you, the least you could do is read a few more of these here, you heartless fiend. 

1948 Force Of Evil (54th)

What else happened this year? 1948... let's see... Cold War Stuff, that's for sure. Oh! I know, Burma gets independence. It's still, as of 2020 at least, a charmless shithole because it's run by angry midgets. I think Malaysia did the same, but at least you can rely on authorities there.

What is the plot - in one sentence? In a needlessly complicated plot, a gangster's lawyer tries to help his numbers-running older brother and save him from bankruptcy.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? It's an incredibly (and completely needlessly) convoluted plot. The older brother refuses to play along with the gangster, and is thus brought further into the underworld. The Gangsters have him kidnapped and killed, and so the younger brother kills his old partner and another gangster. When he finds his brothers body at the Golden Gate / Manhattan Bridge (I couldn't tell which is was from underneath), he vows to go straight to the very young woman he's started seeing in the last few days.

What is the meaning of the title? The Main guy is a criminal turned lawyer,* and he's referred to a couple of times by his brother as 'evil', so that might be it... but a lot of the criminals involved are convinced that their phones are tapped, and at one stage they seem to imply that the phones are a force of evil... There's some phone tapping going on in the movie too.

This is the younger brother. As he looks about 62, you can imagine how old the 'older' brother is. Here he is hitting on a very young woman called Doris.

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? For a noir movie with a lot of moral ambiguity and which is notable for its seedy atmosphere, it's amazingly free of violence to women. The older brother seems kind to his wife, and is avuncular to a young woman called Doris. His brother, for some reason, finds this Doris attractive, and woos her in what is now seen as a very creepy manner, but it's violence free. Just for the record, he refers to her as childish and threatens to take it out of her, we all know what THAT means.

Any thoughts? This is quite an interesting morality tale of a movie. The two brothers are shown as opposites. The younger one, a rogue, is doing a legitimate job in an illegitimate manner, while the other brother, a family man, is doing an illegal job in an honest way. He's employed various people in need of aid (for example, a claustrophobic) and shows a sense of loyalty and honour to his career, even if it costs him his job and his life.

He (the older brother) is the more interesting character of the two to me, and his genuine emotion and betrayal before he's taken to be killed is probably the emotional high point of the movie. It was impressive.

There's a lot of moral ambiguity throughout the movie - for example, the younger brother tries to stop his older brother going bankrupt and thus brought into a mobsters orbit, by having him arrested. However, he's too honorable to cheat at an illegal game. I get that there was moral ambiguity and some vague biblical imagery throughout, but it really WHIZZED by, and a lot of the plot is only alluded to. Certainly there was time to take a breather and explain what the hell was going on. I felt that way today, Christ knows what people would have felt like at the time.

Anyway, an example. The lawyer / younger brother character finds out his brother has been killed and goes after the two main gangsters for revenge. One of them is his boss (whom he has a hinted-at past with), and the other is... some guy we've only heard about. It removes a bit of the stakes to only meet him then.

Would you recommend this? Maybe. I might have to watch it again. It races through the story at a million miles an hour, in a labyrinthine plot which leaves so much unsaid and which we have to infer from various actions. It's a thinker, that's for sure.

Despite all that, I can only give it a mild recommendation (for this first viewing at least) because of his 'I'll be good from now' declaration at the end which seems studio enforced.

Anything else? Oh, wikipedia says that Beau Bridges had a role as a kid in the movie, but I have no recollection of it. It's the gangster's son, but I didn't note him at all.

I also liked how everyone looks a little off, none of the characters are handsome or attractive, which gave the whole thing a realistic, grubby feel. I'll also make note of the gangster bosses wife, who is all over the younger brother despite her being several feet taller than him. She's an interesting looking woman, and could easily have been the star of the movie on her own. What an intriguing character.

Here you go, 54 down, here are the other 53, and when more rock up, you can still find them there too. How convenient.

1958: Man Of The West (53rd)

What else happened this year? The 1958 Munich disaster where a bunch of soccer players died. I know that from a stupid chant sung by idiots.

What is the plot - in one sentence? In the 'Wild West,' after a series of coincidences, a reformed criminal finds himself at his old family home, under the spell of the gang he left.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? The boss of the gang is his uncle, who is suffering from dementia of some sort. The gang all intimidate the nephew (who is played by Gary Cooper) as well as a couple of people he's brought with him, and the gang looks to do a bank robbery. After killing all of the gang except for the boss, the nephew finds a woman he's befriended has been raped by the uncle, so he kills him too. The lady and the nephew leave, him to return to his boring life, her to an uncertain future.

What is the meaning of the title? Gary Cooper is asked a few times where he's from, and he always says 'oh, west of here.'

Here's Jack Lord beating up Gary Cooper in a very 'They Live' style extended fight. Within mere minutes Jack Lord is naked and weeping. Seriosuly.

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? Two woman talk in the movie (at least after the initial train crash - more on which later), and one is shot and known only by name after her grieving husband cries it out. The other woman is a singer / dancer of some sort, and she's forced to strip tease (more on THAT later), and is raped and beaten (offscreen, though we see the aftermath) at the movie's end. She also shows an enormous amount of boob for the era, and an impressive amount of boob for any age. Well done her, I guess?

Any thoughts? So, the old gangster is played by Lee J. Cobb, who I didn't recognise in a beard and scowl. Meanwhile, one of his underlings is played by a young Jack Lord. He's also a cousin of Gary Cooper's character, and another cousin later rocks up. It seems they had a close relationship as kids and young adults, but have drifted apart since then. Anyway, as punishment for forcing the main lady to strip, Gary Cooper fights Jack Lord for minutes, before stripping him and having him shot, while he's crying, snivelling and naked. It reminded me a lot of the fight in 'They Live,' except a bit less homo-erotic. It is a very weird scene.

At the movies end, Gary Cooper kills another two of the henchmen (including his other cousin) in a very drawn out fight, and an extremely long death scene. I wasn't expecting that, let me tell you. The uncle also manages to roll down a hill after death too. You'll remember Gary Cooper taking on a small gang who have grievances with him, and winning, from High Noon, which shares some similarities with. This was a pretty tense movie, with the threat of violence all the way through it.

What's interesting is that Gary Cooper has left, tried to put his past behind him, and is looking to redeem himself, while his old gang still grieves and rages at the betrayal they've felt. His uncle, with what is a case of alcoholic dementia, is a very sad character, but still a frightening one.

Would you recommend this? Kinda. I'm pretty much at my taut-western-movie limit at the moment, but this was an interesting, thriller with some emotional heft and interesting choices made in it. The one thing I'll say against it is the use of movie coincidences. That's coincidences which happen just to let the movie go on, and are unremarked upon. He just happens to be robbed by the gang that he left years ago, and just happens to be near enough to his old farm? Come on.

Also, what the fuck happened to the rest of the people on the train, the robbery of which sets the story in motion (he's travelling with money to get a teacher for his village - which is named Sawmill, why not? - and is robbed and has to get it back). Despite there being many people outside of the train when it leaves, only three got left behind, even though dozens were outside moving logs? Come on.

Final thoughts? This was fine. Gary Cooper is fine in this, and my thoughts only moved to his gigantic dong a few times (when he was sharing a barn with the woman, for instance) - thanks dad, for mentioning that to me during a showing of High Noon, which this movie comes after and isn't as good.

It's kind of sad that he was so close to death - he died only a couple of years later, whereas in 1940 in another movie with him from the West, called, The Westerner, he was a very handsome fellow. He was in a movie called 'Man of The West' and 'The Westerner' and I've watched both of them for this specific feature? I need some new avenues for finding movies.

 

This is the 53rd in a series which may never end. The others are all to be found m'here.

 

 

1963: Pink Panther, The (52nd)

 What else happened this year? Vietnam was just about to kick off, Beatlemania? Nothing I can say for sure, and nothing I care to discover now.... so I don't know.

What is the plot - in one sentence? A detective named Clouseau is sent to a French chalet to stop the theft of a famous jewel, belonging to a princess.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? Two men are trying to steal the diamond, each is unaware of their plan despite being uncle and nephew. The uncle is having an affair with Clouseau's wife, and the nephew also tries it on with her. They also take turns trying to seduce the princess. Turns out that she's stolen the diamond, as she wants to keep it instead of give it to the people of her country. However, charmed by the uncle, and in an effort to keep him out of prison, she frames the bumbling detective for it. Clouseau goes to prison, where the thought of getting conjugal visits from hefty Italian women is enough to make him agree that he did it. The two criminals agree to team up and head to South America for another heist, with Clouseau's wife. I'm sure that will end well for everyone.

What is the meaning of the title? The Pink panther is the name of a jewel that David Nivven tries to steal for the whole movie. The jewel has an imperfection which looks like a pink panther in it. At the beginning and end, there's a literal pink panther cartoon, which was disappointing when the whole thing then descended into 1960s farce.

Here we are, from right to left, an irresistible alcoholic in a sweater, his even-older-looking nephew, a woman in a sky blue jumpsuit, and the back of a woman dressed like a gimp / Cruella De Ville. This all takes place in a grimly coloured fireplace chalet. Oh to be young in that era.
Photo goes here

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? Despite there being no Kato in this movie, this has not aged well. Though there's no violence to women, there is a VERY creepy seduction scene by David Nivven of Claudia Cardinale. She talks like a baby girl about virginity while he lingers around and plies her with alcohol. 

He's 30 years older than her in real life, but looks much more. Their 'chemistry' extends to him saying 'a real woman would have slapped my face' for saying some alcoholic bon mot to her. It's incredibly unpleasant. 

The rest of the movie is just a bit weird, but the thing which has aged the very worst (except the fashion, more on which later) is Inspector Clouseau himself. Every time he touches something: it breaks. Every time he walks somewhere: he trips on something, or something breaks. It's exasperating. I mean exasperating.

Is he a precursor to Mr. Bean? No he isn't.

Any thoughts? The bulk of this movie is set in a ski chalet. In fact, I don't remember why everyone is there: the criminals, the police (Clouseau and a few scientists are there), and the princess, all just happen to be there. That's fine. It's also the 1960s, so everyone is drunk all the time.

The fashion, particularly the skiing fashion, is also terrible as you'd expect (and kind of hope). Put it this way, Claudia Cardinale looks terrible in a lot of her outfits.

Claudia (playing a princess) and Clouseau's wife, who is playing a long term con on her inspector husband - can't seem to get enough of David Nivven, who at this remove looks like an old, alcoholic lech. While this is good for me and my future prospects, it's not good for the movie. His nephew, who is a budding conman himself, has been posing as a dorky student, and arrives to provide a bit of sex appeal for the viewers, and sexual harassment for the female characters. Clouseau's wife spends the majority of the movie fending off attacks from the three male characters, like that cat on Pepe Le Pew.

Would you recommend this? Remember that episode of Frasier where they're all in a ski chalet and horny, but because of mixed messages, no one ends up getting laid? That's this movie, but for two hours! Two hours is too long for a comedy. I wouldn't recommend this.

The whole thing is annoying, has aged very badly. There's a bedroom scene where three men are hiding from each other, and it goes on for about 15 minutes. It's exasperating after 1 couple. There's a costume party at the end which has the 'hilarious' scene where the uncle and the nephew are in gorilla costumes, and it's just not funny at all. The 'chase' scene in cars which leads to a huge number of crashes was pretty slow too. For a romantic Crime comedy to have a creepy romance, terribly aged comedy, and the crime as an afterthought, that's not a big rec from me.

Final thoughts? Claudia Cardinale is (she's still alive) beautiful. It's weird to see her fall in love with David Nivven. She could do better, and in fact she does: later she plays a character who is married to Klaus Kinski in Fitzcarraldo. Lucky old gal.

52 down, who knows how many to go... see the rest here.

1986: Mona Lisa (51st)

What else happened this year? Mad cow disease in Britain (and Ireland?). Boom. 

What is the plot - in one sentence? Low-level mobster Bob-Hoskins gets out of prison and takes a job driving a high-end call-girl around London.

I don't have time, just spoil it for me? They hate each other at first, but eventually seem to warm to each other. She gets him to help her find a friend of hers who's kept hostage and addicted to drugs by a cruel and sadistic pimp... He finds her, but it turns out that the two women are lesbian lovers. After a brawl, the call girl shoots her old pimp, and also shoots Bob Hoskins' boss, Michael Caine. Upset at the life, and his betrayal, we later see that Bob Hoskins has made peace with his daughter, and is now working as a particularly hairy mechanic.

What is the meaning of the title? I don't know. The main theme song mentions Mona Lisa's enigmatic smile, but the lyrics don't mean anything relating to the movie, and Bob Hoskins' (whose name is George in this movie) mate Robbie Coltrane has a picture of the Mona Lisa in his apartment. Other than that, who knows? 

This is from a scene where Bob Hoskins has clothes bought for him so that he looks as good as 1980s fashion can have him. Spoiler warning: the clothes are ghastly.

Anything that's not aged well? Does a woman get slapped around? It's a movie set around prostitutes in the 1980s, have a guess. She's slapped around by a couple of pimps, she and Bob Hoskins exchange blows, and then she hits him with a whip for a while. He later punches her in the face when she pulls a gun on him at the movies climax.

 Another couple of women are shown bruised and beaten. The language used would be unacceptable today in a movie, and the reveal that he's furious that he's risked his life all for "a couple a dykes", was a development I didn't expect. Was he doing it because he was expecting romance? What did he expect? Oh, and Bob Hoskins waiting outside a high school to pick up his kid would end in a tasering today.

Any thoughts? It's interesting to see 1980s London. There are areas which are completely different now. King's Cross, for example, and on the way to Camden, was a seedy shithole, which has now been (largely) gentrified. Chinatown has also become a lot more Chinese, a lot less 'stripjoints everywhere' though there are plenty there still. Bob Hoskins is furious that black people are living where he used to live, too. It's a London which is changing, and it's grim and grimy. There's also a hint at the corruption of the city: she works in high end hotels mainly, and she's seen dealing with Russians, Arab princes, and Japanese people, all looking to make a quick buck and launder money. 

This isn't a great movie for showcasing humanity. A few of the women here are shown as being on 'drugs'. We're not told which, but apparently it is the type that makes you talk like you're 6 years old and only able to eat ice cream.I've never heard of that before.

The movie ends, as it seems every English movie has to, on a pier. Here it's Brighton Pier, and there's a fight where Bob Hoskins jumps up to headbutt a guy, and there are some midgets watching. One of the midgets is more famous inside a white bin as R2D2. I love that midgets are so renowned for being in movies that I can recognise them.Anyway, at the very end, she's just killed her two enemies, and now has her lover, but still looks to shoot George. He takes this as a huge betrayal. and proof that he was just a tool to help get her lover back, but I think it is a more complicated issue than that.

Would you recommend this? Kind of. It was a grim, unpleasant little movie, and like a lot of movies with him as the star, Bob Hoskins' character is a man out of his depth at the situation. Small roles by Michael Caine and Robbie Coltrane are nicely done - Michael Caine tends to work best in small doses. Because of the content, it wasn't really enjoyable, that's for sure, but it was interesting, and as a historical document, it's also good.

Not sure I'd rush back to watch it again though.

Final thoughts? I've lived in and around the UK for ages. I didn't know that 'tart' was an actual term for prostitute until this movie. I thought it was just someone easy. It's been sunny here, and I've found myself not watching movies that are on a year I haven't watched yet, because I can't be bothered writing about them - so maybe I'll take a little time away from it. You'll also recognise that though I wrote Bob Hoskins name multiple times, and even his character name, too, I haven't mentioned the call girl. she's called Simone. I don't know the actress who plays her, but a brief internet search says it's Cathy Tyson. She's convincing in this. Anyway, that's enough grim stuff, I'll try comedy or samurai movies next.

Here we are, 51 down! The previous 50 can be found on this page. Go on, check it out.