Facebook Cull: Examined.

I have good friends all over the world, and I know a lot of people in this country. Being a child of this age, despite myself, I realised that I had accumulated a lot of Facebook friends, most of whom I am not in touch with. I decided a cull would be good: a lot of distant family friends, old schoolmates, and various other hangers-on were removed. On top of the more obvious criteria (not talking in years, not liking the person, no idea who person was, etc) The criteria included:

• If you were regularly posting holiday pictures / nightclub photos where I would genuinely rather drink diarrhoea than have been there with them - you're gone. 

• If you are in hundreds of photos of you kissing your partner - you're gone. This also applies to 'love/hate' constantly breaking up couples. That's not even funny anymore.

• If you have a child, and then say something like 'I hate to be one of those parents, but this is so cute!' as they show you a picture of a cross-eyed Mel Smith lookalike glaring towards the camera. I don't mind baby photos (although it does get you a limited friendship), but acknowledging that you are aware of how boring a baby is to anyone but its family, yet still proceding to post about it, that's too much. You're outta here.

Also included is consistent illiterate grammar, (y'ur instead of your and the loose/lose confusion have lost me some good friends) and stupid political posts. I understand peoples political beliefs are important, but a constant, ignorant reposting of something political is worse than apathy in my book. This following post, which escaped the 'Celebrate Thatcher' cull recently, combines poor grammar with inane politics. This distant family friend's post, in regards to Thatcher's death, was one of many which would have got her the friend flick. I quote the post here verbatim:

I wonder how many of the people complaining about Maggie what she did and didn't do actual vote to have there say some liked her some didn't nothing changes same today with the government we have now and yes a lot of people moaning were not even older enough to vote lets worry about the present and let the family grieve in peace think on if it was your mother have some respect the country is in a mess now yes because of bad decisions made on all party's involved my opinion is none of them r any cop maybe its about time we had a people government with real people who live on low wages and understand the real value of having a good standard of live and be allowed to work for a living too many people allowed into the country not enough jobs and also not forgetting that some people will not take jobs because they become worse off then being on benefits, stop people coming into this country who then go straight on our benefit system that we have paid into from working, take a hint from new Zealand or Australia it works for them, internet is destroying the high street and we are all to blame for helping that along before long England will sink and I don't think it is far off x

This is all one sentence. This was signed with a kiss. This had 47 likes. This is no longer a Facebook friend. Needless to say also, anyone playing constant games or listening to spotify so that you have to hear about it on your news feed, are largely gone. 

After all that I'm stuck with only one friend. Me. Not really, but it's good to get rid of some idiots.

Hope you're all fuckin' grand.