Taiwanese Baseball Teams, evaluated

Want to visit somewhere cool that’s moderately off the beaten track, and that won’t make you feel sick thinking about the ethics of the people in charge? Visit Taiwan. It’s like China if you took away the weird, aggrieved communism and added some Japanese coolness. 

There’re a lot of reasons to go there. One of the less compelling reasons to go there is the love people have for baseball. Seeing this picture...

Some images just don't need context. N.B it's wearing a Corona-mask [link]

...of a salmon-head mascot reminded me reminded me about the baseball league, which is popular, but not without controversies. All the information is coming from this page here, so let’s get on with it!

Of course, there are 5 defunct ones, so let's rank them first, they're named as (the area or company that they represent) The Team Name

5. (dmedia) T-Rex 

This league started around the era of Jurassic Park, and much like the Toronto Raptors, is pretty obvious in appealing to that zeitgeist. Don’t get me wrong, T-Rexes are cool, but naming a team after them is pretty dull. Naming a team after a dinosaur famous for having tiny arms is just folly. It's no surprise that they're defunct. It was the hubris that killed it.

4. (China Times) Eagles  

Not bad. No one can fault you for choosing a predatory bird as a team name. The other day I just happened to see a sparrowhawk catch a sparrow, and it was just perfection in motion. Still, it's a good name, but there are better ones ahead. A shout out to the abstract alternative logo, too.

3 (Mercuries) Tigers  

 Another fine choice. Tigers are good luck in East Asian culture, and they’re beautiful. They’re bad luck to encounter in real life, and presumably on the baseball diamond (until they went bust, presumably). A solid choice.

2 (Macoto) Cobras  

A good name, a good logo. Can’t argue with that. I'd be very interested to see the mascot (a search yielded nothing Safe for work).

1 (Chinatrust) Whales

I’m a fan of this as a team name. Whales are pretty useless in a baseball sense, but the name is just weird enough to like it. This is the best so far. Also interesting is this possibly fan-made team logo,

 Which is cute. That's it for the defunct teams.

As we pause to remember those who have passed, let's celebrate the ones which are still there:  

 5. (Fubon) Guardians 

solid, but uninspired. I would have liked to have made that knight's helmet be more baseball-y. History suggests that they used to be known as the rhinos, and as the bears, both of which would be cooler. 

4. (Uni-President) Lions 

 I've put both logos there to show the mix of thought in Taiwanese society. One is hard and ferocious, the other is cute and kawai! Both aren't great. As a team name, it's just too boring. Again, Lions are fine, but there’s nothing inspired.

3. (wei Chuan) Dragons  

As a name, it's solid, though uninspired. I get it. I'm intrigued by the logo though, as his horns are incorporated into his helmet. Interesting.

2.(CTBC) Brothers 

 Brothers is a weird name for a team, and so it's worth remembering that this is 'the Elephant Brothers.' Elephants is a cool name for sure, and the term brothers is very enigmatic too. Good.

1.(Rakuten) Monkeys

Good. The name is great for a team. It's fun, interesting and uncommon. That’s what we should be after. Look at the logo above. And then look at the logo below. Which is better? You decide.

 Which is awesome. In conclusion, of the 5 best names, only 2 of them are still around.

P.S. I haven't updated this blog in many years. Welcome back me. More news soon.     

5 Cities I'd Like To Visit

I've travelled a fair bit, and I like to think that I've seen some things. There are any number of things I still haven't seen, and these are the 5 cities that I'd most like to... see that is. For the sake of fairness, and so that I don't get my hopes up too far, I'd like to show you a picture of all of these cities looking 'not at their best.'

5. Berlin

Apparently it's lifted its game since 1945 [source]

Why? I want to see the Reichstag, drink beer, and see the grave they've erected for that polar bear who was the centre of an international protest when they didn't 'just let it die.' I'm also partial to Schnitzel.

4. Mombasa

Kenya believe that this place is a dump? [source]

Why? The name itself sounds like music. It sounds like fun, and is near wildlife sanctuaries, which means it is near wild elephants (until they are all murdered for their horns to be used as all-purpose medical cures). The only drag would be the incredible number of posh English people there, I call this 'Kilimanjaro Syndrome.' Do you know any posh people who haven't climbed that mountain for charity? I rest my case.

3. Bucharest

Another place that's lifted its game since 1945 [source]

Why? Because I've met three Romanian ladies, and all of them have been absolutely 10/10 hotness. I've been to Bulgaria, which borders Romania, and the girls there are unbelievably gorgeous too (although they hit their peak at 21, and by 25 look like grandmothers), so this would not only be to see Romanian stuff, but to scam on Romanian chicks. This choice brought to you by the penis.

2. Tokyo

A large-scale rebuilding took place after 1945 here too, I wonder why? [source]

Why? This would probably be at no.1, but I've already been to Japan and I'm arguing that it would be a less of a shock for me than what I have at no. 1

1. Moscow

Soldiers Russian to Finnish the march. [source]

Why? pretty awesome, I've got a mate working out there who is desperate for us all to come and see it. The Kremlin is apparently colossal, and the whole place looks incredibly exotic and interesting. I suppose I'll have to check it out before I shuffle off this mortal coil.

some of you may, rightly point out that there are no cities in the Americas. That is because these places don't interest me in the slightest.

Hope you're having a great one, greetings from Copenhagen
Pascal!

My Favourite Stadiums of the world

I love a good stadium, although Christ alone knows why. Here are my favourite 6 I've encountered:

6. Hampden Park in Glasgow, Scotland

[source]

Capacity: 52, 063
This is a big stadium, where I think Rangers used to play until they got done for being a team of tax dodgers. I'm not sure if they still play there. The lesser known light of this is that Queens Park plays there. They play in the Scottish third division, which means, if you turn up, you get a game. We went along, drunk, one time, and it was fun shouting on the sidelines with 48,950 empty seats around you as watch some junkies play soccer.

5. The MCG in Melbourne, Australia

[source]

Capacity: 100, 018
This is such a pretty stadium, and makes me think fond thoughts of Melbourne, which is the most hipster-filled city I've ever seen. A day spent there watching test cricket and getting drunk, is and will always be a joy, good cricket, heavy drinking and good mates. The following sentence is why I like stadiums. Still, not a bad word to say about the place.  

4. Athletic Park in Wellington, New Zealand

A slightly outdated picture, taken before the advent of colour photography in New Zealand in 2009. [source]

Capacity: 39,000
New Zealand has a lot of earthquakes. When I lived there, I remember being in the bath and an earthquake came and shook all the water out of that bath, leaving me a shivering dry but still soapy. At matches in Athletic Park, if you were on the Millard stand (a rickety stand which shook even in the wind) and a small earthquake came along, it made everyone freak out. It was kind of cool. On this list for that, and because it's now demolished, according to Wikipedia.

3. Redfern Oval in Sydney, Australia

[source]

Capacity: 20,000 (but 0 seats)
The picture above is more recent than when I saw it, it definitely didn't have rails around the edges when I was there. However, it's on this list because it's my old stompin' ground. During university I used to train, and play matches there. A joy, particularly for the experience of being watched during a match by hundred of the local kids and having a chat with the old guys afterwards. It was a great place to watch a match if you weren't playing. If you were playing though, it was a great place to pick up chicks. Although I was stuck in various hateful relationships during my career there, I've always had fond memories of it.

2. Caledonian Stadium in Inverness, Scotland

[source]

Capacity: 7,753
Why? because Inverness is surprisingly ok, if a little isolated. However, it is freezing, it's very northerly, and sits on the coast with arctic winds blowing in. This stadium is right on the most exposed part of the harbour, only half covered by stands, so that on a cold day the wind whips through it like nothing else. Inverness are currently in a position where they can play in Europe next year, and the thought of a team like Barcelona coming over and freezing their nuts off, getting battered by the wind and staying at motels, is a surprisingly good one for me.

1. Hrazdan Stadium in Yerevan, Armenia

[source]

Capacity: 53,849 - 70,000
I went to Armenia when I was working overseas, and can't stop going on about how much I was pleasantly surprised by it. Beautiful woman, nice food, a friendly vibe, and lots of cool things to see and do made it a winner. One of the best things of all though, was this behemoth of a stadium, which we were told has never been full at any event, not when U2 played there, not when they played their first match as an independent country, not when most of the citizens of the city had to shelter there during a war and earthquake. Why is it so big? Why is it multicoloured? why is it tilted like that? We may never know, and that mystery is what makes life worth living.

So there you have it, my half dozen favourite stadiums. The one I want to go to most of all is the famous one in North Korea, Rungnado May Day Stadium in Pyongyang, which fits 150,000 brainwashed people to watch brainwashed people perform for their great leader. I mainly want to go there because North Koreans are insane.(Did he just go there? You bet he did.)

5 Worst World Foods

I've eaten some shitty foods in my time. For the record, I live in the UK, which is famous for shitty food, but seems to have lifted its game a bunch in recent years. Anyone who says differently, try an Arbroath Smokey Pancake, and then shut up. The following are the worst foods I've eaten. I am well aware that eating in a couple of restaurants doesn't give a good indication of a culture, but what do you want me to do about it? These are, if not the worst, then the most disappointing, world cuisines I've tried:

5. Finnish

There was a Finnish restaurant in Sydney. It sold nothing but miserable dumplings and stew with gelatine in it. Why would you open a finnish restaurant if you a) can't cook, and b) even if you could, the food is plainly unsuited to a warm climate.

4. Korean

Cantonese food: good. Taiwanese food: good. Japanese food: Good. All around them they have good food (well, except for North Korea, which seems to have chosen missiles and malnutrition over anything else) so why is Korean food so bad? That scene in Oldboy where he eats a live octopus seems like a good choice over eating Congee and badly made bulgogi. I keep thinking that I must be ordering the wrong stuff, but I think it's just not a great world cuisine. Not awful, just disappointing, every single time I fall for it. [Note - the day after I write this, I went to a GREAT Korean restaurant, called Shilla in Edinburgh, and it was delicious - this renders the rest of the list useless].

3. Hungarian

Hungarians seem to absolutely not care about food, which is almost unique to Europe. The markets we went to there were completely uninspired, mouldy food being sold by people who didn't care. Desperate for fruit, I scoured high and low, only to find a tower of peaches, two metres high, all of which were mouldy. It was such a huge change from other markets I've seen, for example, in Split, Croatia, or anywhere in Italy, where fresh food and fun was to be had. The restaurants in Hungary were poor, the only exceptions being for food of other cultures. For example, Hungarian Chinese restaurant was surprisingly good, at least by comparison. Weird food, badly prepared, and expensive. A surprise entry.

2. Indonesian

 Indonesia is the 4th largest country in the world. I speak nearly fluent Indonesian because Australian Schools put a great emphasis on it (whereas I know almost no science or maths, and I karnt spell gud either). Meanwhile, this 250million people country is NEVER mentioned in European press apart from describing briefly the latest disaster occurring there. Certainly, for a country that size, it has made no contribution to world cuisine outside of nasi goreng and sambal olek. Every Indonesian restaurant I've been to has been disappointing, every time. I feel like good Indonesian food is out there, I just don't know how or where to get it. I'm not alone in that feeling either.

1. Chinese (Mainland)

 I am not squeamish. I've eaten scorpions, horse sashimi, anteater, snake and other things which most people wouldn't bother with. So it's not the fact that I don't like how chinese people treat animals (although I don't like that) - the problem is that Mandarin food seems to apply to a completely different pallet to my own. I wouldn't mind eating frog overies in batter, if it tasted nice. I would happily wolf down a 'king mushroom' a mushroom the size of a dinner plate but with the texture and flavour of a blood bogie, if it tasted nice. I suppose I would endorse shark fin soup if they actually ate the rest of the shark to go with it, and the soup wasn't just gelatinous shit. As it is, I just don't get it.

Ghanian Movie Posters

Yeah, yeah, I told you I wouldn't be back for a while, but I've got a bonanza of Ghanian movie posters. So, without further stalling, here they all are. Full marks if you know all of them.

Also seen here

In conclusion, Good God these are terrifying.