Gere or far? The Five Fingers of Death

It's Christmas, and that means one thing, drinking too much and watching movies with your family (also, incidentally, being dumped by your girlfriend of five years for no specific reason, but such is life). This idea came to me when I was watching 'Shall We Dance' - an atrocious movie about some stereotypes dancing their way through a mid-life crisis or career problems. It stars Richard Gere and Jeniffer Lopez. I thought of other movies I'd rather be watching, and thought that even 'Shall We Dance' is itself a remake of a pretty poor Japanese Dancing movie. The lead guy in that, Yoji Yakusho, is a favourite actor of mine, and I've seen any number of movies with him in it. The whole thing proves that no matter what you watch, you're never far from a Richard Gere remake. 

They got this:

Hefty buttocks? Forbidden lust expressed through dancing? This movie has everything! [source]

From this :

Well, not quite everything. [source]

This gave me an idea: I had just recently been to see the following movie, which stars our good friend Yakujo. The following movies have a logic threading through them that show that you're never far from a Richard Gere movie. First up is: 

à 13 Assassins (2011) 

Here he is again, though performing a different type of weapon display [source]

I went to see this with some basketball friends: three other guys and their three lovely girlfriends. It features a girl who has had her limbs and tongue hacked out. The final 45 minutes, is a sustained, well-choreographed massacre of the small army protecting the bad guy, possibly the evilest person committed to celluloid. I’ve heard that there is an alternative ending where the bad guy gets away, and in effect ushers in a new era of warfare, but I’m yet to see it. The three girls I saw this with loved it, while my gigantic male friends hated it. Oh well. Anyway, the leader of the good guys, was the star of 'Shall We Dance?' which was remade as a Richard Gere movie, and who manages to bring a quiet dignity and honour to the (many) movies he is in, such as Tokyo Sonata, Cure, Tompopo, and a small part in...

à Pulse (2001) 

If you've seen the movie, you'll still have nightmares of this image [source]

– I came home from work late one night, and found the tv flickering, the lights off, no one else home. It would have been about 3am. This movie was playing, and I watched it, terrified. Since watching it again, I can safely say that from the beginning to when the woman flings herself off that cement mill, might be the most unsettling 40 minutes of my life. For a full week, I was terrified of a person coming out of the shadows like that woman in the secret room. I was at least 23 when this happened. Anyway, the college guy who gives advice to the 'Bahamas' character, while they both are in the University library, encouraging him to chase that spirit, is the eldest, violent son in the all singing, all dancing,…

à Happiness of the Katakuris (2001) 

That's him dancing jauntily on the left. [source]

This movie is a personal favourite of mine. A movie which it is impossible to get bored in; impossible to describe, utterly insane and irrational, and excellent for it. The opening scene, in clay, is enough to set you on your way for life. There is horror, comedy, musical numbers, and a volcano. The father of the family, a doughy sixty-something, distracted me the whole time I watched it, where had I seen him before, where? A quick search to wikipedia said it was, Kenji Sawada, the main, handsome, young bloke from...

à The Man Who Stole The Sun (1979) 

Definitely no further comment needed [source]  

I love this movie, I can’t get enough of it, every time I see Torness power station in Scotland, I think of the scene where he steals the uranium, which might be one of my favourites in counter-cultural cinema. The car chase might seem a little tacked on, but the rest of it: the poisoning of the pool, the general malaise that he feels before and after creating the bomb, the match up between him and the policeman, the music, the brilliant ending, make it a great exhibition of modern(ish) angst, and a movie which I would recommend to anyone. Anyway, the handsome, square-headed detective, who exudes a charisma and authority, even when declaring his most nefarious plans, is in…

à Spirited Away (2001)

Cool movie, go check it out [source]

...as the guy who works in the basement, kamaji, and that’s just swell.

So that's that feature done, other movies which could be linked: the guy who holds up the bus on the 'man who stole the sun' was in 'Sanjuro,' 'High and Low' and at least one of the 'Lone Wolf and Cub' movies; the girl from Pulse was also in the 'Last Samurai', so I could have moved onto either Tom Cruise or Billy Connolly - just be glad that I didn’t. Also, the bloke from 'Pulse' and '13 Assassins' was in 'Babel,' that awful, pretentious movie with Brad Pitt and Kate Blanchett.

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this list of five movies I like, and have enjoyed this whole year, it's been a mixed bag for me!
Happy new year!

P.S. Yes, too many things on Japanese films. Sue me.
P.P.S. The non-Japanese sequel to this piece can be found [here]