Gere or far #2: Non-Japanese Movies

The previous Gere or far, [which can be found here] was nothing short of a revelation. It was received well by the three people who read it, and as a result there is continuing talk of me becoming the next James Bond. However, there were problems with the feature. For example, the premise was never defined. I suppose it was to take a Richard Gere movie I hated, and use actors from it to move on to find other movies which I actually enjoyed. Although the original was one of the best things I've ever written, I have run into a snag: I don't think I've seen any other Richard Gere movies. I might have seen Pretty Woman, but almost definitely that was an attempt to get laid, so I would have been too busy making unpleasant moves. So... let's change the details, now it is a list of movies which I like, with overlapping actors, and if Richard Gere is involved in any of them, then that's O.K. In honour of complaints, there won't be any Japanese movies.

1. The Castle (1997)

Awesome. Incidentally, I have been compared to the guy on the far left. [source]

A great movie, and hilarious. Deliberately, filled with in-jokes, stupid puns and some of the very worst fashion of all time. It's an affectionate portrayal of a stupid, poor family, but imbibed with an Australian joie de vivre and a great, humorous optimism(not bad huh?) It's very Australian, you can imagine a British version not being as funny, and not being as nice. It has rightly become an Australia Day Classic. On a sidenote, I can't explain why Australia Day has gone from being a chance for Aboriginals to protest, to the biggest party day of the year. Still, this movie is well worth checking out. Anyway, the Kickboxing, mildly retarded Son-In-Law, Con, is played by Eric Bana, a handsome man and a funny dude. He is neither of these in...

2. Chopper (2000)

I also have loads of pictures of me looking aggressive, with a skanky, resentful girlfriend, so I sympathise. [source]

Where he plays Australia's most famous living murderer Mark 'Chopper' Read, who is now a successful author in Australia (Ned Kelly, if you're asking about Australia's most famous murderer.) The movie charts the fall, rise and fall again, of Mark Chopper Read, dealing with his imprisonment, subsequent fame and his loneliness. Bana brings charisma and a quiet terror to the character, which is astonishing as he had been primarily in comedies before this. He seems to really enjoy playing a fat guy, which he did by 'eating pizzas and not moving around much'. My brother saw the real Chopper give a talk in Australia, and he said that he is terrifying but only about 5'6. Anyway, It's a fine movie, and a star-maker for Bana. Chopper's prostitute girlfriend, who is beaten along with her mother by a jealous Chopper, is played by Kate Beahan who was in...

3. The Wicker Man (2006)

He is allergic to bees. Also, he hates bees. [source]

Probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and not one I'm proud to admit to. I've already admitted my fondness for the original version and this just crapped all over that, removing anything interesting, saucy or amusing from the original. Instead you get two hours of Nicolas Cage having flashbacks, punching women in the face, and screaming about bees. It's not even amusing, but I still watched it to spend more time with the girl I had a crush on. What a douchebag I am. I think that Kate Beahan plays the wife of Nic Cage, but it's such a shit box I don't remember. Nicolas Cage is one of my very least favourite actors, especially the nonsense he spouts in interviews, but he is capable of pulling out a good character from time to time. Although I can't remember if he was any good in...

4. Cotton Club (1984) 

Here is our man, complete with Dirty Hampste- I mean Dirty Sanchez moustache... [source]

I have seen this, and I am completely indifferent about it. It's not great, not awful, and is the very definition of unmemorable. However, it stars... RICHARD GERE, alongside Nicolas Cage (who's birthname is Nicolas Coppola) as well as an appearance by Sophia Coppola. It's directed by Francis Ford Coppola, so I assume that he must know Sophia and Nicolas somehow (seriously though, nepotism kills). The movie's about jazz, gangsters, and Richard Gere sleeping around with gangsters molls and avoiding trouble before a triumphant scene where he plays to the club again (I wrote this before reading the plot again, and looking on wikipedia, it's pretty much perfect.) I think Nicolas Cage was one of the gangsters, but don't hold me to it: for an insane gimp, he can be pretty unmemorable. Finally, this movie was directed by Francis Ford Coppola, who also directed...

5. The Godfather (1971)

I so want this... [source]

as well as directing The Godfather II, The Conversation, and Apocalypse Now, which means I pretty much forgive him for anything. A terrific movie, and one which is popularly and critically acclaimed. Have you ever met someone intelligent who doesn't like it? I didn't think so. It's got great action scenes, great acting, and still manages to portray a family over a generation with sympathy despite the unpleasant business they are in. Also, Sophia Coppola is that baby getting baptised in the end, so that could be the link too. If you've not watched it, go and watch it.

In conclusion: This wasn't much fun to write. Will there be another one? Possibly, as I have thought of a couple of Richard Gere movies I have also watched, perhaps there will be more of this [cue fireworks and rapturous applause].