I've met some celebrities in my time, let me tell you, whether its serving Kate Blanchett at a shitty bar I used to work at, or drinking heavily with Jonny Vegas, and also Gabriella Cilmi, who was sweet - these are my favourites.
6. Michael Carrick
A bizarre run-in with him on the forefront of Newcastle-Upon-Tyne riverside (referred to as 'harbourside' by locals, despite not having any harbour). He was walking along with a mate and a kid, which might have been his, and stopped to sign a couple of autographs next to the millennium bridge. As he did so, the kid, aged about four, ran head first into a pole, it looked painful but everybody laughed for ages, then he left and walked away.
5. Wendell Sailor
More famous in Australia than in the UK, but still an important night. a Group of four friends and I bumped into him in a club, one of the girls there seemed to catch his eye, and he spend the whole night buying us drinks. He came with us to another bar and then left with this girl, before the rest of us went to the casino, where a friend dropped $10,000 Australian. The rest of us earned $100 and treated ourselves to Burgers. Gambling, it's a mugs game. Anyway, the newspaper the next morning (actually probably a few mornings after) was a Sunday supplement piece on Sailor having curbed his childish and philandering ways and being faithful to his wife. He continued to text my friend without her wanting to.
4. Alan Shearer
More sport this time, and a run in with Alan Shearer, who was shopping for shirts in an upmarket department store in Newcastle (it was the only place I could buy Coopers beer and it was Australia day, sue me). He touched a shirt, and looked at it, and then walked off, and I thought, that's Alan Shearer... before I realised the awe-struck crowd behind him who when he was out of sight all came and touched the same shirt he had. It was evidently a religious experience for them, and there were at least 7 of them.
3. Benedict Cumberbatch
A good one this, he was on a plane with us when I came back from Vienna (which I wouldn't recommend) - he was wearing a stupid fedora on the plane and then tried to barge me out of the way to get to his luggage instead of asking. I made a note from that day that I wasn't a big fan of him - I'd seen him in Atonement before then, but didn't realise he'd become ubiquitous in only five more years. Speaking of which, I got into an argument with Jack Whitehall before he was famous, for pushing my girlfriend at the time out of the way. IT really got my furious.
2. Dwight Yorke
An unpleasant experience here. I was in Sydney when he was there playing soccer in the A-League, and was famous for partying around. I don't gamble, so was bored and drinking a beer while my friends bankrupted themselves, and I went to investigate a fake waterfall which is in the middle of the casino. I walked behind it, and found a Mr. Dwight Yorke actively fingering a girl, whose back was behind me. I caught his eye as I was backing away, and he flashed me his famous toothy grin. Unpleasant.
1. Richard Branson
Proud of this one, another airport story, but cooler than Cumberbitch. I went to the toilet in an airport and saw Richard Branson there at a urinal. I took the one a few over from me, and then looked at him and said "so that's why you call it Virgin huh?" he looked frightened, smiled and then left without washing his hands. I was like 19 years old, and should have known better.
1A. Gerard Depardieu
I was reminded of this by my brother, and can't believe that I'd forgotten it. We went to Egypt, luckily before the major troubles out there restarted, as a last ever family vacation together. It was a joy, the biggest joy of all though, was going into the Giant Pyramid of Giza. To access the central bit, you need to climb a ladder which is surrounded at all sides by walls and is very tight. We had to pause before we got to go up it because some fat guy couldn't fit into the space surrounding the ladder. Who was it? You ask, full knowing who it was. A red-faced, gigantic Gerard Depardieu. Bizarre circumstances to meet a giant bloke.
There you have it, hope this has made your day. I also went to school with a girl who is now famous for rowing the Indian Ocean, and another who became an All Black, but that's less interesting.
Have a great week crackers.
P
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