What's it to Yewtree? Time to Speculate Wildly

I was out out of the UK when the whole Jimmy Saville thing went global. I was also lucky enough to never have seen Saville on TV during his life (though I had heard about him, and heard impressions). I don't think anyone was surprised by anything but the scale of his sexual escapades. He was after all, blessed by the pope, and good friends with Margaret Thatcher. Now, someone - almost definitely Rolf Harris - has been arrested under Operation Yewtree, along with others. It's not over yet though, so here are some that I wouldn't be surprised - at all - if they were arrested. Putting on my lawyers hat, this is nothing more than a hunch, and is based only on wild, idle speculation.

Terry Wogan

Certainly bulging with home-spun charm [source]

There's a lot I don't like about Wogan. The fact that he goes in and out of sentences like someone talking on a merry-go-round; his chummy sense of entitlement and cosiness with the bland establishment. The utter dreariness of his voice, and his enormous fortune. Let's just say that I would be surprised if he was arrested, but I wouldn't be unhappy (except for the victims).
Verdict: Dull and irritating, but probably not a sex criminal. 

Gary Lineker

Potato-peddling orange charisma vaccuum Gary Linker [source]

I don't like soccer (I might have mentioned this before), and I think he's creepy. The words 'smug tosser' may as well be crimped onto his forehead like poorly made potato chips. He went down in my estimation when he dumped his wife and married a scrawny, neotonous creature twenty years his junior.
Verdict: Perhaps not a paedophile, but infinitely creepy.

Bruce Forsyth

Say "So much better than last week," repeat for 153 years. [source]

 Speaking of creepy, this shrivelled-up old prick is still on tv, dancing around like an Alzheimer's sufferer. He is of the right vintage and creepiness to be a child-molester. I didn't think it was possible, but when they're on TV together, he makes Tess Daley look like a human being instead of the dead-eyed sub-moron that she is.
Verdict: In the cold light of day, he would have been the first arrested under Yewtree if they had the slightest bit of evidence about him. He does seem like a cock though.

Noel Edmunds   

Edmunds holds up his favourite silver anal beads to the camera. [source]

An awful person, the fact that he's made a living in broadcasting, not once, but TWICE is testament to the folly of mankind. Not only does he host the worlds worst gameshow, but he was given that show where he got to spout his idiotic views to a nation of idiots: Noels HQ. I never saw him with Mr. Blobby on TV, as Australia has its own creepy kids presenters.
Verdict: Almost definitely a sex pest. Certainly believes in earth spirits, whatever the hell they are.

Looking around, his arrest has already happened.

click for source

Paul Merton

Add caption [source]

There's something about British people that blinds them to Paul Merton. Now on season 653 of a largely chummy, supposedly hard-hitting topical panel-show, Paul Merton is deferred to as 'so quick' and 'britain's greatest wit' - failing to notice that saying something - Anything! - before anyone else isn't witty if what he is saying isn't funny or relevant. It's just stupid. He also seems like a tosser of some regard, particularly on housewives favourite, Just a Minute. This ear sandpaper, is hosted by Nicholas Parsons, who would be on this list if I had the moral strength to look up pictures of him. Back to Meton, he, like Forsyth, left a marriage without telling the partner, which isn't a cool thing to do, and may or may not be cause for concern about their sexual pestivitiy.
 Verdict: Not as funny as he thinks he is. Probably a creeper, but probably not a paedophile.

Vanessa Feltz

"Kermie!"... Oh, wrong picture. [source]

For the sake of equality, I'll add a woman. For no real reason I'll add Vanessa Feltz, the terribly earnest, terribly boring woman who has somehow been given new broadcasting contracts despite an absence of talent, musical taste, or any redeeming qualities. She is possibly the biggest exponant of 'emphasising the word she is saying by using three similar words, terms, expressions. (the preceding was an example, but it's something I notice every time she opens her mouth for a self-important rant.)
Verdict: Despite there being no proof, or evidence, she killed twenty people one day.

In conclusion,
I hope that this passes the legal tests, I'm not saying that these guys are paedophiles or sex offenders, I'm just saying that I won't be surprised if / when they do get arrested.

P.S. I forgot Clarkson too.