6 Shitty Modern Movies Everyone Loves

Yeah, yeah. More hating, what are you going to do? Not read? That's ok. The following are movies which seem to remain popular and which critics and commentators seem to appreciate, but which I think don't deserve the adoration. Close to making the list, The Avengers, Up In The Air, Monsters, and any number of others. The Dark Knight Rises would be here but I've already mentioned it. The good reviews that got when it first came out are proof that critics are influenced by studios into giving good reviews, as anyone with half a brain could see it was horseshit. The following are more overrated movies.

6. Wall-E

For whatever reason, this got the best reviews ever. It's got some great, beautiful, scenes, but man does it go on too long. Also, the whole 'romance despite being able to say one word only thing' got really annoying really fast. Which is a shame as that's one of the central tenants of the movie. Also there was a half baked notion not to trust technology, as well as to appreciate the earth and don't sit in a pod all the time. It's a good looking movie, but not one I'd rewatch endlessly. A Special Mention, also, to Pixar's Up, which is all downhill after the first few minutes.

5. Knocked Up

 I really don't get the appeal of this. I admit that I am generally not a fan of Judd Apataow movies, mainly because they're comedy movies which aren't funny. This applies especially here, it's filled with failed gross-out jokes, unlikeable characters who you couldn't possibly care about, and makes awkward nods to societal problems. The result isn't entertaining, funny, or interesting. She's nearly fired for being pregnant? Interesting. She kicks the idiot who knocked her up out of the car and screams a lot? Hilarious. He's a manchild who lives with a bunch of unfunny friends of the director? ROFL. I can't fathom how this is held as a modern classic, it's shit. I saw this with an ex, and she whispered half way through 'I really hope they have an abortion.' It was one of the only times I laughed during that movie.

4. Saving Private Ryan

Ok this is fine, in a boys on a mission kind of way. It's got some good performances (although NOT by Ted Danson, who's terrible in it) and some good scenes (particularly the breathless opening scenes of the Normandy landings) but it devolves into a 'search and trek along' movie pretty quickly. Also, the things with the crying old man at the beginning and end are utterly irrelevant, and the music is too saccharine and emotive for anything. Good, but could so easily have been better

3. Inglourious Basterds

Tarantino is another director who I'm not really a fan of. Most of his movies are too long, too self-absorbed and too overrated. The dialogue is irritating. Pulp Fiction hasn't aged well, and it is remarkably contrived. It's like something a perverted idiot who thinks he is clever comes up with. I should know. Anyway, Basterds was also given good reviews and I think an Oscar nomination for best film. I know people who consider it a great movie. It's not. It's overlong and predictable. For example, the scene in the bar was always going to end in a massacre, and still managed to go on for an eternity. Meanwhile, the loose playing with history, is not just stupid, it's offensive. I can't think of a movie I dislike more. Even Christopher Waltz's performance wasn't as great as everyone says. Top of my list for why I hate this movie though, was the Bear Jew. He had been bigged up by friends. Instead we see a wussy, not-very-big guy with a high pitched voice. He killed unarmed Nazis with a baseball bat. A 9 year old kid could do that. The conclusion, after at least an hour too much of this shit, is a mugging Brad Pitt at the end and he says something like 'I think this might just be my masterpiece' moments before it says 'Directed by Quentin Tarantino' - what a smug shit. A terrible movie, terribly overrated.

2. Terminator 2

It's a fair movie, although it is overlong (how many visions of a nuclear bomb does Sarah Connor need to see?) There's a reason it's iconic: A scary, impressive CGIed bad guy, an outgunned Arnie, and some great action scenes (the one in the truck is good) etc. There are, however, a few things which drag it down: The first movie had an intimate charm about it: people got shot, and it wasn't overblown. In this movie people don't get shot, and it's incredibly overblown. It's probably the movie that made the Transformer movies possible. Also, the kid is incredibly irritating, he's just the worst. This is a good, solid action movie, but one which often held up as one of the best movies of all time (at least by a couple of mates of mine). It isn't.

1. Broken Flowers / Lost in Translation

I have a fair amount of time for Bill Murray, he can do good work, such as in Ghostbusters (which is also hard to enjoy because of its mental fans) and he's also good in some Wes Anderson movies, and things like Zombieland. He's not good, however, in movies he's serious in. Broken Flowers was held as a great indie movie, but was interminable. Lost in Translation is abysmal, and I feel like I'm taking crazy pills when people talk of it as something more than self-absorbed, fish-out-of-water boring nonsense. Bill Murray can be good, but he can also be terrible, these two, and the almost unwatchable Caddyshack, are evidence of the latter. I can see how he's a cult hero, but hate people that wear shirts with his face on it and will hear no wrong about him. He's good, but he's not the Messiah, he was Garfield for fucks sake.

There you go. Movies I don't like. If you disagree, I don't really mind.