Wednesday 21 March 2012

Greatest Injuries I've ever Seen

I've played a lot of sports, and have driven a lot, those things together ensure that I have seen more than my fair share of horrific accidents. My advice, don't drink and drive, if you do, expect to get the shit kicked out of you by the people you've injured. Anyway, here are the best 5 things I've ever seen in real life. In time I will add illustrations to add depth and understanding.

5. Guy can't outrun ogre
 Age 15 or so, playing a game of rugby. A guy sprints off into the distance, only to be caught by another overgrown ogre on my team. He tackles him from behind, by the shoulders. The other guys legs do a splits and his right leg goes the whole way up his back so that he kicks the back of his own head. Painful.
Result: Broken leg, dislocated hip.
Reaction: Everyone else looks uncomfortable, everyone then laughs awkwardly. He screams and weeps for at least ten minutes while we look for a stretcher. He is carried off on a stretcher. We then continued the rest of the match (played at walking pace because we were all in shock).

4. Guy can't slam dunk
 Age about 19, playing basketball in a tournament. A huge guy on the other team who me and a much taller guy had to double team went for a slam dunk, he failed, gotthe ball against the side of the hoop, and fell almost horizontally, landing on his elbow first. The elbow shattered, and the rest of his arm lay limply from his side. It was a little like this, except no one pushed him from the back in our case:
 
Result: Shattered elbow, probably a broken wrist too according to one of his team mates we talked to after. There was also a huge amount of blood coming from his fingers.
Reaction: He got up, walked off the court and straight to the medical station, who rushed him off to hospital. We finished the rest of the match (winning, if I remember correctly).

3. maniac doesn't know when to stop
Another rugby match this time. In the last year of school we were playing some local rivals, or 'local rivals,' as I'd only just joined the school. The biggest, hairiest guy on the team, who was and still is a tosser, played a half of a match after we all hear a horrific crunch in a tackle. After the match, he takes off his shirt to strut around topless (he was one of those guys) but can't get the shirt off his wrist because it is caked in dry, adhesive blood. He rips it off, exposing at least 5cm of exposed bone jutting out of his wrist. He fainted.
Result: Broken wrist, metal screws inserted into wrist, and no more rugby for him.
Reaction: A few people offer to help, the rest ignore him. He was that much of a genuine dickhead.

 2. Guy Forgets Human Biology
This was a good one, although at the time it was really unsettling. Our cricket team was playing away, and we had wrapped up our match before the other team who shared the bus with us did. We had waited ages, and were so bored we started playing soccer. A fat guy on the team tried to do a quick manoevre, which led to his leg twisting so much that his foot faced backwards, literally facing the other way. He tried to take a step with this backwards leg, but there was a loud, cracking sound, and then he fell to the ground and vomited in pain. It wasn't cool.
Result: Broke pretty much every bone in his leg, dislocated his hip, and was in an industrial sized cast for about 6 months. I think he learned to walk again.
Reaction: Two other people threw up, when he fell down, while everyone else ran off to find someone who could help.

1. Girl Throws Herself at Car:
At one of my old schools, there were a lot of buildings separated by roads which we had to cross. For some wee would have to cross town, I walked to get there with two girls from my class. At the end of the street, about 100m away from us, a girl from the same school was walking quickly, and started to cross the road, when a car swerved out of the way, which made her jump. The car then hit her, in mid air, and sent her skidding down the road, lying face down. The car's windshield was smashed, and the girl lay face down, her dress blowing up to expose her g-stringed, red-raw ass and mangled legs. Because I was only new at the school, that was the first time I had ever met her.
Result: She broke both legs, her ass-bone (that was where the impact was) a wrist, and because she had skidded up the road, was covered in scabs, which healed pretty well.
Reaction: Everyone pretty much freaked out, especially the driver, who when he asked her if she was ok, looked terrified when she lifted her head to expose a blood covered mess. I'd also like to take some chivalry points by using my jacket to cover her (impressive despite the accident) ass. The three of us were told off for being late, despite being nearly 18 years old. I didn't like that school.

Well, there we go, ther are others which really weren't fun, I've seen a guys eye socket collapse after being punched by a big Samoan guy,and saw a motorbike driver get flung under a truck after slipping on oil, but those aren't cool. The good things about all of those I've listed is, the people recovered.

hope everyone is ok, thanks for reading, Pascal.

P.S. As a bonus, I include a clip of an NBA player ruining their leg (a little like our friend at #2) I genuinely recommend though, that you don't watch this if you are in any way squeamish. Genuinely. You have been warned: P.S. I don't want to watch it, but not sure if this is it (they don't let you view or choose the specific youtube videos you upload, so would only be able to watch it)
 

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