5 Best Pet (psychotic edition)

It is the distant future. The year: 2050, the human population: 9.5 billion. How do we feed all these people? Where is all the water coming from? Can the earth take any more? Those questions are irrelevant, because now, we have engineered pets. Despite the best work of our greatest scientists, we can only make animals shrink or grow to suit our needs. We can't, despite our best intentions, create things like this:

giraffe + turtle = Girtle

Elepigeon

Pig + Frog = Poglet

Tiger + Rabbit = Tibbit (probably)

Searill (I apologise for not being able to find the source of these, but they are kind of scary and kind of funny).

Instead: here are the best things that you can own.

6. Sheep, the size of a small cat.
These would be fun, they could mow very small areas of land, but you would need at least three to keep each other company (and, when the time is right, a full meal).

5. A gorilla which, when fully grown, would be the size of a housecat
Would still be powerful, but would be great fun to wrestle with.

4. A sloth, but the size of a volkswagen.
To sit in only the heaviest of trees. Would become a real status symbol.

3. a hippo the size of a guinea pig
Only the biggest bastards on earth wouldn't want one of these

2. An elephant, when fully grown, the size of a pug
An affectionate and loyal trnk-bearing friend. A bit like my friend, Frankie three-legs.

1.Tapir (giant version)
because what would be a better use of money than spending it on Tapirs?

I would also like to include, really small pigs, but they already exist as micropigs. Anyway, this whole thing was devised as a way to lighten up after my last post, which has been described as 'too intense.' Suggestion noted.