Long Term Relationships: A Post-Mortem

Let's go through my love-life, starting from age 15. We will have to use possibly incorrect initials here, as I'd like to preserve anonymity, but let's take a walkthrough of my previous long-term relationships. I don't expect anyone to find this interesting but me, but I'm sure it will prove cathartic:

1. H.F. (Just under 3 Years)
What happened? We had been together for the last couple of years of school, things fell apart when we both realised how much we had been cheating on each other. She was OK, very funny, and the cleverest person I've ever been with, but at the same time, very protective and jealous. My family didn't mind her, although she came on holiday a couple of times with extended family, my cousins in particular hated her, and I can see why, she was pretty stubborn, and wasn't particularly graceful about when she was right. She also had a really annoying laugh Also, her family were awful, her mother a constant nag, her father left the mother and started going out with schoolgirls. I saw him ask out a girl from my year a few years later, gross.
Where is she now? She is a professional naked life model and painter somewhere in England. Luckily I never had to pay to see, but it was all good.
Attractiveness: Hmm... an odd one. She was pretty, but not as pretty as she though she was. I thought she was pretty sexy, but I was at an easily manipulable stage in my development, so took account of my friends views who said she wasn't. She was short (only about 5'2) and relied too heavily on her boobs to get her by, though they were a thing of beauty. She also used to have to get waxed almost hourly (she was of Greek and Irish descent), which kind of made her arrogance about her looks a bit of a joke.Personality wise she was a bit of a drag, moody, possessive and asocial, but she was funny and really clever.
Are we still in touch? No. I called her and told her that we should meet to talk about our relationship. She brought another guy with her, they were "just friends." I told her that we should stick in touch, but that I wanted to move on, and she took that personally and still won't talk to me. Incidentally, the guy she brought along was her boyfriend for the next 2 years. An odd time in my life.

2. A.K. (6 months)
What happened? We met in university when we were both part of an informal friend group, we got to know each other more, and kept it secret from the rest of the group until coming out as a couple after months of making out. We were inseparable for about 5 months until she went to Germany on a work exchange thing, and it sort of drifted apart when she was there.
Where is she now? I think she moved to Thailand to teach English, but I'm not sure.
Attractiveness: Hmm... Another odd one. She was very nice, and really good company, so I didn't notice her looks too much. Her being fun to be around was an enormous surprise after H.F. (see above), but she was still pretty.
Are we still in touch? Yeah, which makes the fact that I don't know what she does or where she lives all the more harrowing.

3. S.R. (2 years.)
What happened? Still in university here, we met in second year, we both broke up with other people to be together, earning much resentment in the process. We were very much in love, and the first year we were together was passed in the gentle floatings of affection, physical attraction, and joy of new love. However, she became more and more jealous and possessive. She would screen calls and check emails, there was  also a long list of people who I wasn't allowed to talk to. She was also very clever, she would convince me that I was the one at fault, and would lash out if I would react. I'm not a very jealous person, and so my lack of jealousy was tested to the limit. For example, she'd go and make out with other people to get a reaction. She also manipulated my friends to think that I was the bad guy in the relationship. She had some abandonment issues (she had been in boarding school), and Daddy issues, which made her have trust issues. She also didn't deal well with stress, and had very limited control of her emotions. She was training to be a Dentist, which required some genuine hard work and stress. You can imagine how that went. I've never met anyone as moody as manipulative, nor as malicious. However, she hid all that for the first year we were together. During petty, yet spiteful arguments in the second year of the relationship, I kept thinking that she would change back to the lovely woman I knew, but never did. It didn't help that we were living together, and had no real outlet to escape each other.

 On top of it all, she was a great liar, capable of changing her story to fit her audience. I was too busy, terrified and lusty to leave her, until she started to get physical. She slapped me in front of a group of friends for no reason, and in one case scratched me hard enough to leave a scar on my chest which remains to this day. A few friends stayed by my side throughout the ordeal, and I love them for it, but many more joined her side, and still think I am a domestic abuser. They also think I cheated on her. I didn't. I cannot begin to convey the way that she treated me. After the chest scratch, The revenge story is a great tale, but I think I'll divulge that later. Needless to say, things ended very sourly indeed: I came home from work one night to find her sleeping with a close mate. Even after all this time, I can't imagine a worse person, she did more to undermine my faith in our shared humanity than anyone has ever done to improve it. I am happy to admit fault in every relationship I've been in except for her. As a point of reference, she slept with six guys in the week I moved out of our place. To this day, I still think she's a manipulative, jealous bitch incapable of happiness.
Reading that, she should be an ex-wife (Zinger!)
Where is she now? She's a dentist in Brisbane. To my amazement, she's married.
Attractiveness: Physically, a very attractive girl. However, she knew it, and knew her power as a woman. there was a great chemistry between us. Even when we argued, fought and hated each other for nearly a year, we still couldn't keep our hands off each other. Curse my libido.
Are we still in touch? Absolutely not. It will remain that way. I understand the importance of catharsis, but I would take it as a great failure on my part to go grovelling back to her, even after all this time.

4. Y.M. (5 months)
What happened? Her and her ex-boyfriend had been on a 'people I was not allowed to talk to list,'  despite the fact that he was on my basketball team. They broke up but we all still kept in touch, and she and  I hung out more and more until things escalated between us. Her ex didn't mind, as he now had a new girlfriend, who is now his wife. After the train-wreck of S.R. (who even now, still tried to interfere with this relationship, and used the fact that Y.M. and I had got together as more evidence of my being a bastard). Despite that, we stayed together and had a great time until we both moved away with work opportunities: she to Japan, me to the United Kingdom. Although this relationship was soured by S.R. ruining life-long friends for me, I really liked being with Y.M.,we had a great relationship and great rapport. It's a source of shame that we didn't stick together longer, I had considered moving to Japan for her, but foolishly decided against it.
Where is she now? Still in Japan, she's married and with a kid.
Attractiveness: Beautiful physically and in terms of personality. Although I was at my physical peak (i.e. I looked like a muscular porcelain ladyboy) I felt nowhere near her level. As well as being very tall and very pretty, she really brought out the best in everyone, especially me. As I said before, I regret not being with her longer.
Are we still in touch? Yes, though only as friends.

5. D.C. (nearly 5 Years)
What happened? We met through friends. I worked with someone who invited her in, and she came to chat to us. I was instantly captivated. (as an aside, I also knew her cousin- it really is a small world). Over time, we got together, eventually hanging out all the time. Slowly, we fell in love. We went on holidays together, travelled, went to things together, and every thing seemed peachy. I didn't like to be away from her, and only really felt right when she was around. It wasn't a particularly fiery relationship, it wasn't built on mistrust and jealousy, rather it was built on mutual respect and physical attraction. She was happy and likeable, and we had talked of marriage. It seemed the reasonable thing, most of our friends were married. I had thought that, after S.R., I wouldn't ever trust anyone again, but D.C. changed that. However, the breakup didn't catch me off guard completely, we had been long-distance for a while, and she had seemed less bubbly for a long time. Also, she had gotten more and more into work, into reality shows (she loved the Kardashians), and hung out more with her wussy ex-boyfriend, a scrawny little multi-millionaire who I hated. I also have to take some of the blame, after finishing my degree and taking up my new job I was pretty much a slob. However, the break-up wasn't very smooth, and D.C. showed a new side of her that I don't know if she hid for nearly 5 years. Just for the record, I made a genuine effort for her, and I resent being dumped the way that I was. Back to the drawing board.
Where is she now? In London, with her new life, and her new, scrawny boyfriend.
Attractiveness: She was ok, pretty without being very pretty, but in good shape. However, I had offset that with her personality. For four years she was: my best friend, my lover, and the nicest person I had ever met. I couldn't keep my hands off her, and couldn't wait to hear from her. That is, until she dumped me callously over the phone, so forget everything about nicest person I ever met I just said. For now, Screw 'er.
Are we still in touch? Not now, but probably will in the future, once I get the resentment out of my system.

In conclusion:
This brings us more or less up to date, though I must admit that this seems like depressing reading, I'm happy to have made such a difference to these peoples lives, for better or worse. I also had my heart broken by someone just before H.F., and during H.F. embarked on a six month relationship with G.R. (I make no apologies, I was young and virile), a lovely girl whom the choice between her and H.F. came down to H.F., but they don't really need a mention here. I also want to admit that I have numerous flings of less than this amount of time, I am proud to admit that I have made mistakes, and also enjoyed making them.

My biggest regrets are, other than spending more of my time sleeping around like my brother has managed to do (he's a year younger than I am, and has never had a girlfriend) would be not breaking up with S.R. after a year, and not using that time to get with another girl I knew (R.B. - who is still my number 1 dream girl - as it was we had a couple of dates, but S.R. intervened in them - she was her friend.) Actually, reading that back, my biggest regret should be S.R. in general, but, at the time it seemed right. If she had remained the open, friendly girl I was with for the first year of our relationship, I would be happily married to her now, living in Brisbane, and feeling my intelligence sap away like water poured into sand. My cousin has said that the next girl I'm with for longer than 6 months will be the girl I marry, and I'm not getting any younger, but I think right now it's not really a possibility to even consider.

Anyway, hope you've enjoyed this insight to my personal life, happy Tuesday.
P.S. I wrote this instead of doing work, pretty cool huh?