Jack Whitehall has been given another TV show, and being sent the trailer for it turned my day from 'good' to 'disappointing.' It's 2012, no one should be able to make a career out of being a posh guy. So, in honour of that, here are other things which annoy me intensely, and will be removed from society when this becomes a Pascalocracy. Most of these have been hinted at before, but I stand by them.
1. Guys who, when presented with a pretty lady (in person or on TV etc) say "I'd fuck her" as if that's a privilege for her.
2. People saying "we" won the rugby/football/soccer etc when the team they choose to support wins. So annoying, and so wrong, especially as the fatter and less athletic you are, the more likely you are to say this.
3. Perhaps a little more obscure, but this happened to me recently. I was filling up the car with petrol, and went to pay for it. In front of me in the queue was a fat woman talking about her two dogs to the teller. They could be seen in silhouette through the back of the window, and she was saying that the "girl is cleverer than the boy..." and then she added "just like humans" and turned to me with a malicious smile. She waddled off to her car, which - I kid you not - had a sticker on the back which said 'Powered by Fairy Dust.' Yes, a car powered by fairy dust is a real sign of intelligence, and will work well in reducing the gender imbalance. After she had left, the guy behind the till said 'what a fat bitch,' I had to agree. In conclusion, people who annoy me include these stupid, fat women who mistake their huge size and lack of intelligence for some sort of feminine triumph.
On a side note, there was a gigantic woman who I used to see parked outside a school near where I lived, who was always eating, and was so big she spilled over the handbreak, but who had a sticker on the car which said 'I didn't ask to be a princess, but if the crown fits...' on the back of her car. I hope diabetes has taken its toll on her.
4. Having a facebook photo of you jumping on a beach. I mean you on a sandy beach, photographed in the air, your arms out and your legs kicking up. It's up there with 'relationship status: engaged to my best friend' as a signifier of a lack of imagination. Incidentally, my profile picture is me at the beach, but looking cragged and with feet firmly on the ground.
5. On a smiliar note, dealing with groups of girls in clubs posing to have their photos taken. All of them angled to the side, looking backwards, with their hand on their scrawny, cum-stained hips It's annoying to look at, it's annoying to navigate, and it's annoying my sense that we humans have the choice to be original in our views.
6. Guys talking about porn in polite company. I've encountered a few of these guys before, and not all of them were Australians, but there is one in the place I'm working now. He will sidle up and tell anyone, male or female about his preferred brand of porn. It's gross, and no one cares.
7. The last thing which is annoying me is the 3 or 4 people telling me to watch 'Archer,' that spy spoof cartoon. It's not as funny as it thinks, it's not original (Get Smart the TV show was out in the 1960s) and the voice acting isn't great in general, and the main character is too annoying to sympathise with.
There, did all of that without mentioning anything political (like that American soldier who killed 16 Afghanis has been airlifted back to the US to avoid trial), and there are a million other things which are niggling me, but this should do it for now. Hope everyone is having a great time.
P.S. In an interesting note, the funeral I went to the other day, for a 88 year old grandmother to my cousins, and which took place in Central Scotland. It was hosted by a Korean-American Priest, who wore jeans under his robes and talked with a cool accent. I've just been sent the information that he was a Hollywood Agent who earned $3m a year until quitting to leave for a life of God. Why he would choose to come to Alloa (which is a dump) is beyond me.
No comments:
Post a Comment