Rationalising hatred (Heineken Beer)

Note: I wrote this a long time ago, I don't think this ad has been on for at least a year, but I maintain my earlier sentiment. Some changes have been made to reflect time passing. I would also like to acknowledge the sequel, 'the date' which has done nothing but reinforce my hatred, and also made me bust a blood vessel in my neck.

There's a new ad for Heineken out now, it features a guy going around a party, saying hello to a cowboy (whom he 'hilariously' pretends to shoot); a black guy in African clothing (who is deferred to to suggest tolerance), and a Chinese guy (whom our host 'hilariously' pretends to do Kung Fu against to gain possession of a beer). In the end, he gets a Heineken from a servant, and he plays along with the band. Instead of the crowd coming to their senses and realising that such a swaggering tosser is undesirable at a party, he is actually toasted by the crowd and the band plays on. You can watch this ad here:

I hope that some of you reading will know enough of me to know that I hate this ad. On top of a team filled with cocaine-stuffed Advertising executives thinking that this is people's idea of a good time, there are other problems. The guest / host (who I suppose we are supposed to sympathise with) is a tosser, swaggering around, running shitty parties, and hiring a terrible band (seriously, that girl sings like a 3 year old child). He is supposed to be cool and charismatic- watch him shoot that cowboy, who looks like Lemmy after a thousand eating challenges, but why would any swaggering tosser have a wannabe cowboy at his party? The answer is, because he is a cock. He gives us no reason to like him, and no reason to think that only at his arrival does the party start.

He says hi to a couple more people, gets his servant to bring him beer, and plays a weird kung-fu getcha with a beer against a Chinese guy, which only showcases his lack of athleticism. the Chinese guy looks on, almost in smiling tears, as he realises that he has met his match on a social and physical level. Poor fool. Meanwhile our host (or guest) swaggers to the staircase, playing a flute after getting changed (why?) before he raises a beer, triumphant. The terrible band play on. We are told that this is probably the best party in the world.

I don't think so, and here's why: I wouldn't want to be friends with that guy. If he was there as a guest, I wouldn't want to be at that party. If he was hosting the party, which the ad suggests (possibly), I wouldn't turn up. For the record, I like to party. That is why I won't drink Heineken or its subsidiaries as punishment.

Bonus Fact: this was written nearly a year ago, and as far as I know I still haven't drunk any Heineken beers, which includes TIGER beer. Lesson learned about me: I am a man of morals (when it comes to terrible ads)