Inspirational Quotes: some thoughts

There are a few quotes and poems that drive me crazy. Let's analyse a couple.

1. The first, often attributed to Marilyn Monroe, is as follows:

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

I despise this. Why? I'm, in essence, a feminist, I really think that women should be given a better go at running things- but this quote sets back feminist thinking a half century. It does nothing but reinforce the notion that women should be given free reign to be bitches, to be "out of control" even. I think that someone who forces you to put up with their worst behaviour, instead of making the effort to act like a human being, deserves nothing but scorn. Needless to say, anyone who genuinely believes this quote is going to spend a lot more time "at their worst" than they ever will "at their best" - it's not worth it. Also, an ex girlfriend of mine had this tattooed on her right ass cheek, which is just ridiculous.

2. Slightly less obvious, but more prevalent on the facebook pages of idiots, is this:

Work like you don't need the money
dance like no one is watching
sing like no one is listening
love like you've never been hurt
and live life every day as if it were your last

I instantly removed everyone who had that as a like on Facebook. Instantly. It's anodyne, ridiculous, and the only people who it inspires are idiots. The only people who thinks it will inspire others are even bigger idiots.
I'd like to offer a response:

Work like you will have to eat only porridge to cover the bills
dance like everyone is watching and you just sharted
sing like you know how you sound
love is for suckers. Get humping.
and realise that life is futile.

That at least has a bit of oomph to it.

3. Oh, and last but not least, a sticker which says 'Powered by fairy dust.' and has a silhouette of Tinkerbell, placed on the bumper of fat girls cars. If you're approaching thirty, have a load of cats, and can't find a man: DO NOT get this sticker and put it on your car. It's not powered by fairy dust, it's powered by earth-destroying, Arab-enriching, oil. Grow the fuck up.

Incidentally, an example of no. 3 nearly ran me over today. That's my inspiration for this list. Have a great week people.