The
Eastern Version was called 'a triumph of civilisation' by no one. So, in spite of popular requests, here comes the Western version. The last one was a discussion about the logos that the teams use to represent their basketballing abilities. Incidentally, all logos were found at this
awesome site which I wished I had found earlier. Here goes.
1. Dallas Mavericks
Like The Detroit Pistons, a team which has added a horse to the logo. Mavericks is a good name for a Texas team, but the logo should never have been changed from this:
which is all kinds of awesome. As it is, the new, horse-y one is too busy, championship in 2011 or not.
2. Denver Nuggets
A straight-up, boring mountain logo for a mountain city. It's a fun name for a team, I suppose, but I guess it's pretty boring. Not boring, however, is this guy...
Who looks psychotic, especially his dislocated foot.
3. Golden State Warriors
Yes, Warriors is supposed to be an 'American-Indian' Warrior, but they can't show that in this day and age because of political correctness. Instead they now show a bridge... and they used to show this thing:
It's quite a cool logo, and it looks a little like the Gold Coast Titan. It's probably a better logo than the bridge, but I think they may as well go whole hog and either show an American Indian, or just rename themselves the Titans.
4. Houston Rockets
This logo, complete with 'Red Rocket' is boring and lacking imagination. While a rocket is a good name for a team, especially in Houston (where, I think, rockets are launched from nearby). It needs to emphasise the rocket more, but a little less than they did here, in their earlier logo:
which is just bizarre.
5. Los Angeles Clippers
Yes, a Clipper. It's an incredibly boring logo, and Clipper doesn't even make sense. It's leftover from when they were in San Diego, and Clippers are a type of yacht. Why you would name a basketball team after a type of yacht I don't know:
and why you would keep the team named after yachts after they move inland a little is beyond me. A fail.
6. L.A. Lakers
Another Los Anglese team, another uninspired logo. Unlike the clippers, they don't need to change their name or their logo because of their glamour and success. However, Los Angeles doesn't have any lakes, and so this is a residue of their time in Minneapolis:
But could you think of a better name for them? I certainly couldn't (although L.A. Immigrants would be fun).
7. Memphis Grizzlies
These guys used to play in Vancouver, where Grizzlies are more common. However, Canada didn't take to basketball, and so they moved to Memphis, where I don't even know if you get Grizzlies. However, I do know you get bourbon and music from there, so why not call them either the Memphis Distillers, or The Memphis Rollers? Having said that, bears are a good animal, and would be good basketball players: Powerful, tall and quick. The current logo is a little demented-looking...
while the old one is a teal nightmare from the 90s:
8. Minnesota Timberwolves
The name wolves is great. They hunt in packs, so have good teamwork, are deadly and quick. Also, they are cool. They also live in Minnesota, so that's a win. The current logo is a little overdone, but still captures the ferocity of a giant wolf emerging from the shadows and making trees look like shrubs:
this is much better, but less cute, than the confused dog they used to have as a logo:
Still, pretty cool in a retro kind of way, which almost certainly hipsters are wearing it ironically. Those guys piss me off.
9. New Orleans Hornets
Yeah, it's the exact same logo as the Charlotte Hornets, that's fine. Hornets are horrifyingly big though, and I suppose are a good name for a team from New Orleans, especially after the name 'Jazz' has already been taken.
10. Oklahoma City Thunder
From my understanding of geography, Oklahoma City isn't even near the west, but they remain playing for the western conference because they used to be the...
Which, along with Frasier, is now disbanded. It's not been a good time for Seattle, but the Thunder are doing well, and the logo is pretty high-tech too. Fair.
11. Phoenix Suns
Yeah, a pretty uninspiring logo from a desert city. Phoenix Cacti would be a good name, but this will do in the meantime, I suppose.
12. Portland Trail Blazers
Portland is supposed to be a nice place to visit, and a good city to live in, in a remote, American kind of way (although I've never been) and the name Trail Blazers kind of makes sense, pretty much. The logo is ten trails, swirling around in grey and red, which is a good colour mix. Pretty good, in an abstract way.
13. Sacramento Kings
Another pretty uninspiring logo, and a pretty weak team name. I could get behind a team which is called the Sacramento Sharks (although they may be moving soon to somewhere else). Let's hope it gives them a new burst of life.
14. San Antonio Spurs
Spurs, Texas, it makes sense. However, the name Coyotes is devilishly underused, and a Spur doesn't really make sense in terms of a basketball team, unless its attached to a Rooster, which would make the name San Antonio Fighting Cocks possible. Anyway, the old logo is another 90s abomination, but also kind of charming...
15. Utah Jazz
That's right, a state which is run by Mormons, who hate music, alcohol and ethnic people, are named after ethnic music which is fuelled by alcohol. A stupid name. However, the old logo:
is pretty damned cool!
In conclusion: this has been exhausting, but also fun. Have a great time all the time.
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