Added to the long list of things which make me think 'am i going crazy?' is the list of people who my idiot mates think are attractive. This seems to be backed up by the press and the Internet (I've been doing 'research' all day). The following people seem to be held as not just attractive, but a sort of transcending uber-attractive, touching the divine. The following list of supposed sex symbols (female version) proves not only that people are entitled to their own views on who they find attractive, but that they shouldn't because they are idiots.
Not found on this list, but bubbling under are: Zooey Deschanel (so irritating), Ellen Page (a boy in annoying girls clothing) and Kat Dennings, who, boobs aside, looks like Bowser from the Mario games. Please note that these girls are, on the whole, pretty, and attractive, but I just don't get the excessive fuss they receive. Ok?
I'm not into Harry Potter, and so don't really
associate her in my head with the character of Hermione the way that most do. From what I understand Hermione is cute and ballsy, and from what I understand of Emma Watson, is that she's pretty, and seems like a nice girl. However, the shady group of onanist-enthusiasts who inhabit the majority of the internet, whom I like to refer to as the 'Masturbator's Alliance' really
seem to have taken a shine to her- seriously, my trip to the Internet
today was a genuine eye-opener. She's not as hot as they think she is.
Shot to fame by being able to fit into a tailor-made bridesmaid dress at her sisters wedding, and continues her life as an event coordinator or something like that. Meanwhile, the British tabloids wank themselves into a frenzy. She's only 27, but because of fake tan she
looks at least 40. In most photos she looks like she is mahogany coloured, but I guess that's the colour you end up if you spend your entire life partying and chortling in private yachts. If I really wanted to fuck someone like that,
I'd just hang out with tossers called Henry and go shooting. No thanks.
A couple of my good mates think that she is their ideal woman. She's not mine. She looks fake, even when she's not plastered in make-up; talks unmitigated nonsense in interviews; is covered in tattoos; and hasn't yet appeared in a good movie. She looks like one of those realistic sex dolls come to life, which is not a great thing- more like a teenage boys idea of the perfect sex symbol. Also, she's only 25, she already looks like she's dealt with some pretty serious shit, though that may be because she's had that surgery that makes everyone look the same. She might have been pretty before the surgery, but she's not going to age well.Also, I found out about her freaky thumbs on my browse of the internet. Creepy.
She's ok, but she's often referred to as a great beauty. I've seen her compared to Marilyn Monroe. I disagree, she doesn't have any sex appeal, she's not good in any movies, and there's something annoying about her. The picture of her above, has her naked, she just looks like she's made out of plaster or something, it's an ethereal, asexual image. I've gone out with more attractive people, and I use car keys to
clean my ears. I've definitely had sexier naked pictures sent to me than
the ones that got hacked from her phone, and which I only heard about recently. Close sources say that these prove that she is no naked beauty.
This one really confuses me. I have a friend who puts her as the woman she would most like to look like. My friend is exceedingly attractive, buxom, unlawfully sexy, and is about 5 foot 10. My friend Kate also listed her as her paradigm of beauty. I will never understand how women think. Natalie Portman stands about 5 foot 1, which is so small that she looks bizarre, and yet she is deferred to as a genuine beauty. I maintain that she isn't.
She is also supposed to be a great genius, deferring entry to Harvard to pursue a career in movies. I don't think a genius would choose to star in movies like 'Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium,' 'Garden State,' and 'The Other Woman' - one of which I paid good money to see. I understand that she is a rich woman because of roles like this, but all of them she is awful in. I was told to see 'V For Vendetta' by a couple of formerly close friends: throughout it, she cries, and looks sad, her enormous mouth gaping. She was also terrible in the Phantom Menace, though that puts her in good company in that movie. I haven't seen the two sequels, but I'm sure she didn't get better.
These all have their detractors, and that is all well and good; but the main problem I have is for her winning an oscar for Black Swan, which was abysmal. It was a movie about dancing and psychological torment filmed badly, and predictably, by someone who doesn't have the range to show psychological torment, nor could she dance (despite saying that she has done years and years of ballet, she looked as graceless as I would on screen) - the movie was awful, and she made it that way, she isn't competent enough to play one character convincingly, let alone two.
She won an Oscar for that role and is now referred to not only as a great beauty, but an all time great actress. Instead, this should be used as proof, alongside Sandra Bullock's Oscar, that Oscars don't really matter. Either way, I think that what sums it up for me was, after her wonderful turn in that wonderful movie 'Black Swan' she came up with 'Your Highness' - and 'that one where she screws Ashton Kutcher' - let's hope that the oscar curse strikes her with a vengeance.
In conclusion, this has been a little negative, but I'm sure I could respond to myself by listing 5 people who are attractive. I stand by the fact that I am confused when people blindly follow who to find attractive, and it leaves me filled with angry emotions.
Not found on this list, but bubbling under are: Zooey Deschanel (so irritating), Ellen Page (a boy in annoying girls clothing) and Kat Dennings, who, boobs aside, looks like Bowser from the Mario games. Please note that these girls are, on the whole, pretty, and attractive, but I just don't get the excessive fuss they receive. Ok?
 |
| The two reasons why people watch '2 Broke Girls' are just out of shot |
5. Emma Watson
 |
| This doesn't really help, though Dawkins is a AILF(?) [source] |
4. Pippa Middleton
 |
| She's 27 in this photo [source] |
3. Megan Fox
 |
| An understated, natural beauty. [source] |
2. Scarlett Johansson
 |
| Incidentally, I'd also like to force-feed Keira Knightley a meal or two. [source |
1. Natalie Portman
This one really confuses me. I have a friend who puts her as the woman she would most like to look like. My friend is exceedingly attractive, buxom, unlawfully sexy, and is about 5 foot 10. My friend Kate also listed her as her paradigm of beauty. I will never understand how women think. Natalie Portman stands about 5 foot 1, which is so small that she looks bizarre, and yet she is deferred to as a genuine beauty. I maintain that she isn't.
She is also supposed to be a great genius, deferring entry to Harvard to pursue a career in movies. I don't think a genius would choose to star in movies like 'Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium,' 'Garden State,' and 'The Other Woman' - one of which I paid good money to see. I understand that she is a rich woman because of roles like this, but all of them she is awful in. I was told to see 'V For Vendetta' by a couple of formerly close friends: throughout it, she cries, and looks sad, her enormous mouth gaping. She was also terrible in the Phantom Menace, though that puts her in good company in that movie. I haven't seen the two sequels, but I'm sure she didn't get better.
These all have their detractors, and that is all well and good; but the main problem I have is for her winning an oscar for Black Swan, which was abysmal. It was a movie about dancing and psychological torment filmed badly, and predictably, by someone who doesn't have the range to show psychological torment, nor could she dance (despite saying that she has done years and years of ballet, she looked as graceless as I would on screen) - the movie was awful, and she made it that way, she isn't competent enough to play one character convincingly, let alone two.
She won an Oscar for that role and is now referred to not only as a great beauty, but an all time great actress. Instead, this should be used as proof, alongside Sandra Bullock's Oscar, that Oscars don't really matter. Either way, I think that what sums it up for me was, after her wonderful turn in that wonderful movie 'Black Swan' she came up with 'Your Highness' - and 'that one where she screws Ashton Kutcher' - let's hope that the oscar curse strikes her with a vengeance.
In conclusion, this has been a little negative, but I'm sure I could respond to myself by listing 5 people who are attractive. I stand by the fact that I am confused when people blindly follow who to find attractive, and it leaves me filled with angry emotions.
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